Moves Like Jagger Pt. 1

~ Barney Green- Money Matters!!! ~

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The scene opens up inside of Green's House where see a very angry looking Mistress Randi, dressed in a black tanktop with a purple skull on it, black khakis, and black sneakers, staring at Barney Green, who is dressed in a black shirt with blue jeans and black sneakers. He still has his collar on. Randi goes to speak first.

Randi: Okay, pindick. Care to explain why you got married to some blonde bimbo in Las Vegas? This better be a damn good explaination.

Barney: Promise you won't get mad at me. It wasn't my fault. It was the alochol, Mistress.

Randi: Go on. You chose to drink and now you are gonna deal with the consequences, bitch.

Barney: We haven't had sex in a good three or so months and I haven't been able to send the troops out to war if you know what i am saying. In a moment of lust, I lost my mind, Mistress.

Randi: You know the rules of this relationship. You gotta file the divorce papers to dump that bimbo. I said we could have sex once you either win ten matches straight or you get me another credit card with a ten thousand dollar limit. You can't possibly be that horny. You will be talking to a lawyer soon to go through with this divorce or you will be living on the streets. Do I make myself clear, slave?

Barney: Yes, Mistress.

Randi: Good. Now get out of my sight. Don't you have a job to do today and leave your credit cards with me.

Barney: Yes, Mistress.

Green reaches into his pocket for his wallet and opens it. He removes his credit cards and hands them over to Mistress Randi. Green then pockets his wallet and heads towards the front door. He opens it and heads outside. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He dials a number and then he goes to speak.

Barney: You got me in a load of trouble, Smitty. I don't know what you gave me to drink but Mistress Randi was not amused.

Hardcore Smitty: Dude. relax. She isn't worth it. She is just a big time golddigger that is sucking you dry money wise. What is so attractive about her that you stay with her?

Barney: She is the one for me. I don't mind spending money to make her happy. If I have to do that to keep her around than so be it.

Smitty: You, sir, are an idiot. You married a hot woman named Brandy. You should be thanking me for that. The woman is a straight up bitch. I am not gonna bullshit you on that one.

Barney: Are you serious, bro? You hit her with a lamp and tear gassed me. You got me into this huge mess. I gotta talk to my lawyer, Brutus Sanford, later on today. I gotta get those divorce papers filed. It was a fun trip though.

Smitty: Whatever, man. Why do you stay with her? You sound like a very pussy whipped man if I ever saw one.

Barney: Where am I supposed to go? The house is her name. Everything is in her name but I am footing the bill for it all.

Smitty: I don't know what to tell you about that. At least we didn't get arrested in Las Vegas.

Barney: Fair enough. It was a blast but I got to go to work. I got to paint two houses in Brockton today. Should be a quick payday.

Smitty: Okay, man. Be safe.

Green hangs up his cellphone and places it in his pocket as the scene fades to black.

I admit I showed up too late to be apart of Snow Job so I ain't even angry about not being booked. I just gotta take my frustrations on Double G. Grappling Gary. Listen here, you gravy-brained punk. I am currently on the rise to greatness.

You, my roided freak, are just a bunch of talk. I can walk the walk. Put asses in the seat. Make people wanna see me. You can't even get your Uncle Bob to see you wrestle. I may be a fat idiot but I have no problem speaking my mind. With the moves like Jagger and stll got the swagger. The Sunday Sermon. The Monday Messiah. Whatever you wanna call me.

What can you really call me? Say that I am fat and an idiot. Say that I am recovering alcoholic. You got nothing. Maybe you can talk about the fact I had sex with trannies in my past but I have settled down now. I am a monogamous man with a beautiful woman named Mistress Randi.

Somebody better call your momma when I am through with you. I will make you tap with the Green Dream. Let the blood flow. Let the rain of pain fall down. Let the river of blood gush down your face as I let my fists fly. I can still brawl with the best of them. I can also dance the night away and make the girls skirts sway. I am the greatest man that has ever lived.

The so called Grappling Guru. I have taken scarier shits after a night at the local Burrtio Joint. You are nothing more to me than a turd that won't go down the drain so you need to take out Mr. Plunger to finish the job. I am gonna flush you. I will make your eyes glisten as you listen. Listen to the words that I speak. I will tell you right to your face that I am better than you. You wish you were me. Later.

-Barney Allison Green

P.S.: Yes, my middle name is Allison and if anybody has a problem with that, I will kick your ass.