The Irish Rover Pt. 1

~ Barney Green- Money Matters!!! ~

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It's time for Episode Three: The Irish Rover. I am Barney Green in case you didn't know that. I will always say that Shane MacGowan is perhaps the greatest Irish singer of all time. Who cares about looks? Thats what society is about. Look at Shane MacGowan. He isn't a pretty boy but his style of writing and singing made him a success. The Pogues, which were fronted by MacGowan, are the founding fathers of Celtic Punk Rock.

I pulled out a shocking victory against Killjoy, Johnny Legend, and Poetic Death due to some help from Xuanlong and The Dark Shadow. I get to face Chasm this week on Elevation. One of the few originals I remember. Like I said, Potential will shine through at any time. It's how you use it that makes you great.

For example, I know I am not the best wrestler out there. I am five-foot-eleven and weigh in at a slim three-hundred and tweenty pounds. I rely on the crowds support a little too much. People think I get upset when I get insulted. It doesn't bother me. You can call me a fat loser who sits at home friday nights. I am out Friday nights partying and drinking bottles of whatever type of alcohol I crave. Nothing beats drinking Peachtree Shnapps or those Seagrams Escapes. Those are like a liquid orgasm in your mouth. You feel so much pleasure. Whiskey gets easier over time to drink.

I feel a lot better now than I did back in 2008. I am not the same dumb rookie I was back then. I got a decent amount of exeperience. I overcame a few of my demons. The alcohol will neve leave my body. At this point, I got too much blood in my alochol stream. I came to party and I will never stop. I remember when I injured my back in a sexually related injury. I wound up scoring some vicodin. Drinking beer and mixing pain killers. Fun times.

Time goes by and some nights, I don't know what I am doing. I don't sleep much. I will get up at five a.m. and stay up until six a.m. the next day. Crash and repeat again. Keep partying. Look at my teeth. They are slowly rotting away because of it.

I am the common man. The guy that passes high school in the middle of the road. I didn't do bad. I didn't do good. I did enough to pass. I didn't care enough to go the distance. College wasn't for me. I graduated and left right after I grabbed my diploma.

I was considered a disappointment to my family because I didn't go to college. I wound up with a cool thousand or so dollars to my name and I relocated to Las Vegas. Armed with a camera and my laptop, "The Bus Ride" was born. Most of the people who appeared in that movie wound up being real citizens using the bus. Fun times. I wound up a millionare and thats when family wanted to talk. I slowly wasted away the money due to alcohol and bad movie ideas.


The scene opens up inside a local Gym where we see Jeff Night, dressed in a white tanktop with black shorts and black sneakers, running on a treadmill. Green, who is dressed a black and green XWF shirt with dark blue shorts and black sneakers, is sitting down on a weight bench drinking a bottle of Rolling Rock.

Jeff: How come you aren't working out, Barn?

Barney: It's too risky. I don't want to ruin my image. People expect a fat drunk, they are gonna get one.

Green finishes his bottle of Rolling Rock and goes to lifting the barbell. Jeff finishes up on the treadmill and goes to watch Green.

Jeff: Umm.. Barn.. i think you are doing this wrong. You are only benching fifty pounds here.

Barney: Yeah...And?

Jeff: Shouldn't there be more weight on these?

Barney: I don't think so. I don't want to hurt my arms.

Jeff: You gotta focus, man. You are facing a future legend in Chasm on Elevation.

Green grunts and places the barbell back in place. He sits up on the bench.

Barney: It is gonna be a close match between the two of us. When Chasm is awake, he is unstoppable. Hopefully I can go the distance against him and prove why I am the American Everyman. The Boston Brawler. Whatever you wanna call me. Hell, You can even call me Al if you want.

Jeff: Fair enough, Al. You gotta keep your endurance up. You are the biggest man back there right now at three hundred and twenty pounds.

Barney: Listen to me, you blasphemous fool. I am pretty sure there are plenty of people my size in the locker room.

Jeff: I expect you to do some serious lifting this time. No more fifty pounds. You are gonna do at least two hundred this time because you should be able to lift that no problem, you little girl.

Barney: Fine.. I will prove to you I can do it.

Green gets up and adds a few more pounds to the barbell.

Barney: Watch and learn, junior.

Green sits back down and leans backwards. He starts to lift the barbell. One.. He is doing fine.. Two.. He is struggling.. Three.. He lifts it and his arm die..

Barney: Come..On..Get..This..Fucking..Thing..Off..My..Neck..

Jeff: Come on and lift it, you wimp. Stop playing around.

Green, motivated by the rage he is feeling through his body, lifts the barbell and throws it a good ten feet from a sitting down position. He gets up and stares at Jeff.

Barney: I could have died, you dumbass.

Jeff: But you lifted it.

Green slaps Jeff across the face.

Jeff: You hit me!

Barney: Didn't expect it, did you?

The scene fades to black as Green and Night stare each other down.