Scene: Green Mansion
People: Foley Anderson, Barney Green, and Jerry Jensen
Date October 27, 2008
Time: 10:06AM
:::I am in my living room chatting with Jerry and Foley after seeing a few of the promos from the so called challengers.:::
Barney: Can you believe what Dan Fierce said about me.. Oh mah gawd! No wai!
Jerry: I can't believe it either.
Barney: Real men kill each other with their penises. I got six tons of Green in these pants. In fact, You wanna make fun of the fact I am rich. I could easily buy your house and you would be homeless.
Foley: Where I come from, he would have probably got his ass kicked like when i fought Seymour Butts. His gimmick was he liked to look at men's asses..
Barney: See More Butts! Ha Ha! Next on my list is Sully Silvera.. Who are you? You cant even come up with a good insult against me because I am better than you and could probably eat you.
Jerry: Umm.. What?
Barney: You heard me right. Enigma, the false prophet or whatever. You and HAL0 should go hang out together because you bore me with your false tales of what is gonna happen. I can tell you what is gonna happen, I am gonna morph into the Green Ranger and hit you both with my mighty sword. MR WS. Somebody I have never heard of and he must be british. Remember this.. America beat you before and I will do it again, you chav. Jack Nation... You suck.. If I remember correctly, you are that guy who shows up for like a month and then disappears. You can't even match up to what I can do. I tell you what, If you show up for more than a month, I will give you a Million dollars of my own money. I am willing to bet you that you will not show up for the whole month so I technically win. Cyren is another name I keep hearing that is gonna enter this. He has about as much chance as winning as Honkey Lighthouse would. Oh yes, I went there. What are them folks gonna say? Holy crap...
News Reporter: We just got this leaked video of Barney Green dancing to "Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley.. That really is gonna help him win at Lord of the Ring.. He mentions Spice One who also did a dance video but Green isn't that funny. He was dancing with a pool cue. In fact, lets play the whole video.
Foley: Umm.. Nice dancing I guess..
Barney: Call my lawyer.. I want a word with this News Program and I will be suing them.
Jerry: I am on it.
Barney: They can't prove its me.. That could be anyone wearing that Barney Green mask.. Its very easy to imitate my voice using voice changing software. I will be having a word with that News Program and tell them that if they ever try to slander me again, I will sue for much more the next time as I got the best Law firm on my side.. Dewey, Cheatum, Howe, and Weismann. Thats gonna show a lot of people I mean business. Whats next? Another dance video surfaces of "me". Thats totally not me.
Foley: Of all the dumb lawsuits I have seen, this is one of them. It has to be you dancing otherwise you wouldn't keep denying it. Calm down and think about what you are doing. Do you really want to go through with a lawsuit that will get you in even more trouble? You need to seriously think about it.
Barney: How can you say that? Its not me. If it was, why would they leak it? Wouldn't I have released it first? I mean, its not like Spice One hasn't danced like a fool either. Even if it was me, why would I dance to my entrance theme? Also, Big Shank had a few things to say about me but what kind of name is that anyway? He sounds like a guy that got raped in prison and started carrying a shank on him and became Big Shank..Ha Ha! Chad, you think you can just laugh at me? What does that prove that you have no concept of trash talk either? Come on, I mean be serious. Dean James... Who? The so called "Iceman".. I think that was another guys nickname that you totally rip-offed. Harley Vice, you have no idea what you are doing, do you? Let me give you some advice.. To actually win, you need to talk about your opponents instead of ignoring them. What an original name you got there... Mr. Harley Davidson, let me tell you one thing and thats you aren't gonna last in this business. Enigma, You have no idea what I am actually capable of. I sting like a bee and move like a butterfly. Remember, Real men kill each other with their penis. You all are just a ploy in my game of winning this match. You have nothing on the Greenman. My IQ may be 105 which is normal but I am richer than everyone in this match. I could buy your house and you would be homeless. Ha Ha!
Jerry: Jim Weismann will be over later to discuss the lawsuit that will be happening with the news show.
Barney: Great.. Those spongeheads won't know what hit them. I am not gonna be bullied by a News show showing someone dancing wearing a Barney Green mask and using voice changing software for crying out loud. You see, I believe that people shouldn't get away with using my image because I own it. What the fuck-
News Reporter: This just in.. Another video of Barney Green dancing has been found. This time it is to "Shake Rattle and Roll" by Elvis Presley.
Barney: I have enough of this. I am gonna do something about it myself. They wanna show these false videos of me. Guess what? I am now pissed off about this and if they fucking want a war with me, they wont like the end of it as I am willing to take it to the extreme if needed. This bullshit they are starting about me is pointless and stupid. If people think they can mess with the Epitome of Cool, they are thinking with half a brain, baby.
Jerry: Exactly.. That doesn't even look like you. I doubt its you and I think you can pull out the win in this match and overcome the odds like you usually do.
Foley: This lawsuit is a joke literally. If you win, I will be very shocked because that guy resembles you a lot. Same hair and same build. Interesting if its not you because that guy looks so similar.
Barney: Don't be so negative. I might have a shot unlike that Rage guy. Rage has nothing on me. He is a glorified X-Treme Champion. He can't even measure up to Armageddon X. Thats right, I went there. Im tired of being nice to people. Dan Fierce is gonna get hit so hard, he is gonna go back in the closet. Oh Snap! I am so pissed right now and in the zone. I love when the blood starts flowing because thats when you have to start fighting back because the body is a thing of beauty. You can function with only 5 pints of blood out of the 10 pints you got in you. Its all about being insane enough to do it. People can try that game with me but I don't back down because I have no fear. Real men kill each other with their penis. Can they beat a man who will say that? I am about as afraid of the competition as I afraid of a needle..
Jerry: Don't you fear needles?
Barney: Where?
Foley: There are no needles around right now so that means you are scared of this match.
Barney: You would think that but like Gary Busey said, "FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real". Its all false evidence that people think is real.
Jerry: I would hate to see you get diabetes because it would be very bad for you.
Barney: Hey! I got an idea. Lets bring Gary Busey here. Lets call him up. Diabetes? I eat lots of sugar and I feel fine. Get me my phone.
Foley: Fine..
:::I take my phone from Foley and start dialing Busey's number. The phone starts ringing.:::
Barney: Hey Gary, I need some advice. Can you come over in like an hour or so? Great.. See you then. Have a great day.
Foley: Why are you having that whacko come over?
Barney: That guy is a genius. He usually gives me good advice.
Jerry: Yeah.. He keeps telling you to lay off Rolling Rock because you are gonna eventually wind up like he did.
Barney: Thats bad advice. Like I said, he gives good advice sometimes. He helped me get my career out of a downward spiral.
:::I hear the bell ring and I answer the door and let in a good friend of mine.:::
Barney: I take it you found the place all right.
Gary: You bet I did. Now what do you need and remember, If I am the middle of helping you out of your own stupidity, I will not stop talking.
Barney: I entered Lord of the Ring which is a big wrestling event and I am confident that I will survive.
Gary: Have you quit drinking?
Barney: No but I am down to 3 bottles of Rolling Rock a day.
Gary: Remember.. SOBER... Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real. You can't drink to get away from reality because it still haunts you. I have been sober for 13 years now. Its good to see you cut back on drinking but you should really stop drinking because you will hit rock bottom soon and I can sense it will happen because you don't listen to anything anybody tells you. I saw those dance videos on the News.. What were you thinking?
Barney: Thats not me dancing. I have contact my lawyers and we will be suing them for showing those videos. Anyone can buy a Barney Green mask and use voice changing software to do my voice so people will do it and make me look bad.