NOW PLAYING:
Hardcore Superstar- Not Dancing, Wanna Know Why
Welcome to episode number one: Escape from Barney Green Island. Welcome to my daily thoughts. You see, I was an alcoholic at one point in my life. Alcohol ruined my life. It made me lose money. I lost everything I had. I even tried to kill myself because I got dragged down so far. Thanks to the help of my friends, I spent a few days in a mental institute on suicide watch. I survived and was driven to rehab by Foley Anderson. I stayed in rehab for a month. I was released after a month treatment.
I currently live in Boston but my hometown will always be Las Vegas, NV. Ryou Bakari Itemri, who is a long time friend of mine and former wrestler, helped pay for my legal fees to hire a lawyer to negotiate a settlement between all the bars that file a class action lawsuit against me. Lets just say I only owe about ten grand in bar tabs now. I had to take this wrestling gig and throw my name back into the business.
I made a vow to stay sober and wrestle. The alcohol helped kill my lonliness at the time but its not worth it. In the end, I was just fooling myself. I got my friends back and I am a new man for it. The fear that drove me.
Now I do my victory dance.
Anyway, back to work I guess. I am just an everday normal guy at twenty-six years old. I started drinking at 21 and it controlled my life. I admit it. I value my life more now than I did when I drank. I would spend thousands of dollars on Jack Daniels, Rolling Rock, Olde English. The list goes on of all the crap I would drink.
At least I finally got my health back in order somewhat. I am down to 320 pounds which lets just say was a big underweight statement because I actually weighed in at 414 pounds at one point claiming to be that weight from all the alcohol.
People don't realize at one point, I had a heart attack before I was supposed to wrestle in XWF back in 2009. Lets go to a flashback.
Flashback
Foley: Not that... You are facing Mr. Amazing and Luna Chick. Mia Sanchez is your tag partner. Did you hear what Raven said? He dropped a promo tearing you a new one. He called me the worst manager of all time.
Barney: HE DID WHAT? I DON'T CARE IF HE TRASHES ME BUT TO TRASH YOU? THAT COCKSUCKER WILL BE PICKING UP HIS TEETH WHEN I AM THROUGH KICKING HIS ASS ALL OVER THE PLACE!
Foley: Easy there, Barn. I know you have a great deal of respect for me and all but calm down. Count to 10 or something.
Barney: I WILL NOT FUCKING CALM DOWN! HE INSULTED YOU! THAT WHITE SHIRT WEARING CLAM DIGGER! HE FUCKING WANTS TO SEE HARDCORE! I WILL SHOW HIM FUCKING HARDCORE IN THAT RING WHEN I BASH HIS FACE IN WITH MY FIST! HE CALLS ME REMEDIAL? THAT FUCKER CAN'T WRESTLE HIS WAY OUT OF A CARDBOARD BOX! I AM CAPTAIN AMERICA TO HIS RED SKULL! I WILL CAVE HIS SKULL IN! HE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO WALK AGAIN BECAUSE EVERY TOE AND HIS FEET WILL BE SHATTERED SO BADLY! HE WILL WISH HE DIED IN THE RING AGAINST ME!
Foley: Settle down... Don't do anything rash. Count to 10. Do your deep breathing exercises or something.
Barney: THAT GUY WANTS TO BADMOUTH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE. SOMEONE THAT I RESPECT. I AM TEAMING WITH HIS BITCH THIS WEEK. THAT BITCH WILL BE DANCING IN SLEDGEHAMMER STREET IF SHE SCREWS ME OVER BECAUSE I WILL LEAVE THE RING AND WALK BACKSTAGE.. I---
Barney Green falls to the ground, clutching his heart with his left hand, as Foley Anderson looks shocked. Foley runs for the phone and calls an emergency number.
Foley: Hello? We need an ambulance at Green Mansion.. Barney Green has had a heart attack I think.. We need someone here stat. I will attempt to perform CPR on him. Stay on the line with me.
We see Foley Anderson put the phone down and start performing CPR on Barney Green as he lays on the ground motionless.
Foley: Major Mayday out here.. Barney Green has had a heart attack.. Someone get help..
We see a butler come running out and start to help performing CPR as we see the chef come out the kitchen and open the front door. Foley continues to perform CPR as he starts to sweat. The butler is trying to help. Green starts to breathe faintly. We hear sirens and see a set of paramedics come running in with a stretcher.
End Flashback.
I managed to survive that surgery luckily because at the time, BG Studios was still open and I had great health insurance. I actually wrestled the next day after surgery. I escaped the hospital by jumping out of a window. Its amazing that worked.
Anyway, thank you for listening to my thoughts.
The scene opens up in Ryou Bakari Itemri's house and we see Foley Anderson and Ryou Bakari Itemri sitting on a couch. We see Barney Green sitting in a chair looking at WWG footage.
Foley: You make your return to wrestling on WWG Legacy. How do you feel?
Barney: I feel good because it is a much needed return to the business I was in while I owned BG Studios. I have no money left so I might as well have some making some money again and to help pay off that ten grand debt I own.
Ryou: Don't worry about the money to pay me back just yet. Focus on your debt and getting back into wrestling shape.
Foley: Just because we left didn't mean we didn't worry about you. When we found out, you attempted suicide, we had you checked into an asylum for your safety. Your alcohol was killing you. We both had to turn our backs on you until you learned your lesson. It seems you have learned your lesson.
Ryou: I may be a serious competitor but I did care about your well being. Don't get me wrong, I wanted you to get help but you wouldn't admit to your problem.
Barney: I have no beef with either of you guys. You actually saved my life not realizing it. I was so down and into that darkness. I went down the spiral. People saw a happy guy go down in flames. Enough said, lets go do something.
Barney goes to stand up and trips. He then lunges forward and grabs onto the tv to regain his footing. He stands up straight and laughs. He starts to run to the door and goes to stop. He bangs his head on the door and goes flying back through a dining room table. Foley and Ryou slowly get up and look at the mess that Green made.
Ryou: Unbelievable. If you spent more time watching your step, you wouldn't be breaking things in my house. Oh well..
Foley: Yeah Barn, You might want to be a little more careful because Ryou and myself aren't made of money to keep replacing things you damage.
Foley, Ryou and Barney head outside and we see Green get in the backseat while Foley and Ryou climb up front.
Barney: Lets go to a Denny's or something like that. I am starving.
Foley: I don't think you are welcome in Denny's anymore after getting into a fight with a chef over him overcooking your grandslam. I remember watching you get thrown out the back door by five different people.
Ryou: We could stop by Taco Bell I guess.
Barney: Hell yeah. Let's go to Taco Bell. I love Taco Bell. Especially those Cheesy five layer burritos you can get there. I can eat those all day. Along with those beef and potato burritos. That Double XL Chalupa is also amazing. I once ate three of those in one sitting along with an epinada.
The car starts to drive on down the street towards a local taco bell.
Ryou: Do you know what you want, Foley?
Foley: Yes I do. I would like a volcano taco, an order of nachos and an epinada.
Ryou: I would like a mexican pizza, a tortada, and an epinada. Take it away, Barn.
Barney: I would like Two beefy double XL Chalupas, Two cheesy five layer beef burritos, two beef and potato burritos,
Foley and Ryou look at Barney in the back seat as he continues to order.
Barney: and two epinadas.
Cashier: That comes to $42.67. Please drive up.
Ryou: Jesus, Barney. Just because you are big doesn't mean you need that much food.
The car moves forward through the drive through and they get their food. The scene fades to black as the car starts to drive back to their house to eat.
Its Shoot Time with Barney Green. So lets take a little look at my opponents.
Adam Carrier...The Animal. Am I scared of a guy who is six foot two and weighs two-hundred and forty-seven pounds. You better believe I am. I am at a huge disadvantage. I gotta let my charisma work for me in this environment. I just hope I don't get hit too hard because last time that happened, My jaw got broken. Lets just say that Carry on my Wayward Son is going to be in for a match against me. If it means I have to nail The Big Fat Ass Splash to win. I will do it.
"The Viper" Randy Orton. I am really scared just for the fact he is six foot four. Looks to be a little dangerous for me but I will try my best as the only good guy in the match. I know the plan is the heels are going to team up and try to destroy me but that won't work because I may be an idiot but only an idiot would fall for a stunt like that.
You can make fun of my weight all day but it will be like the time I got into a boxing match with Santa Claus. I won that battle no problem. Santa gave me coal one year so I stayed up Christmas Eve and waited all night for him to show up. He finally did. I challenged him to a boxing match and won. I also attacked the Easter Bunny once in a mall because I hate him.
I also attacked the tooth fairy because she stole my tooth. I also learned that the tooth fairy could use magic because before I knew it, I had punched my mother in the face. I am still on the hunt for you, Tooth Fairy. Don't think I won't find you.
I got grounded but I am ready to wrestle in this match. I will win! ha ha! The Dancing Fool strikes again. Time to show what I got in the ring. Carrier.. Orton.. Time to go in this match. Time to shine. Good luck to you guys.