Hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Episode number two: Art of Green Fighting. Lets start with some more stories that highlight my long career in this business. Yeah, I attacked Scott Carr because I believed him to the same vile human being he was when I first encountered him in the Viking Wrestling Federation. How was I to know he would turn his life around like I did? I am not the brightest man out there.
I will stand tall against my enemies in this ring even if it means I have to give my all. Some people call me the Boston Brawler. I am not the best wrestler in that ring. If you ever look, I am limited in what I can do.
Its so lonely around the streets of Boston because the only person you can depend on is yourself here. I have trained for many years fighting in Boston. I can brawl with the best of them. I am a hockey fan. Boston Bruins fan until the end of the time.
I bleed black and gold. I will be stepping up to the big tyme when it comes to this match. Could it be the return of "Big Tyme" Barney Green. Nah. Not a chance at seeing that gimmick ever again. I am going to run on down to that ring and make myself known as a force in this business.
I figured if Mark Recchi can still step on the ice at 42 years old and score points. I, at 26 years old, could beat that alcohol addiction and train to come back to this business I once loved. I get to face none other than Alex Anders in his second match of three. I am going to stop him before he even makes it to Scott Carr. I have to do something to make Scott Carr know I am sorry. That is all I can come up with.
Carry on my wrestling fans listening to what I say. Let me tell you a story about my city. The city of Boston. The greatest place in the world to live. You get to meet a lot of interesting people in Boston. I worked in an underground fight club for a few years. I taped up my hands many times to fight. The blood that would get spilt from my nose. That crimson substance. The copper tasting blood. Such a lovely taste. I rebelled against the club and got beaten within an inch of my life. The alcohol helped numb my pain while I recovered. I never could stand those painkillers they gave me. I couldn't figure out what to do with them so I just dumped them because they weren't needed.
I have no kids that I know of because the alcohol might have killed off any chance of me having kids for all I know. Although, there was one chick I hooked up with in Las Vegas. Maybe she got pregnant.. I don't know because I was a bit of a lush head back then. All I remember is the girl was a big girl that I had fun with. It was really fun. I pulled out my unit and went to town. She tried to get me to wear a condom but condoms are for squares, man. Hmm..
Anyway, lets get the show started.
The scene opens up in a dark room and we see Green with a strange looking trap wrapped around his head. The lights flicker on and Green shakes his head. A tv in the room turns on and we see a strange puppet appear on the screen.
???:Hello, Barney. It seems you don't appreciate life like you should. You drank and abused your body for pleasure. This trap right here that is on your head will slowly crush your head in 20 minutes unless you can face your fear of alcohol and overcome it. There are 10 bottles in front of you. You must find the key to the lock on the device. Let the games begin.
2:30PM
The timer flickers on above his head.
Barney: Fuck you. I will die on my own terms. Not because some fucking idiot wants me dead.
The trap slowly starts to crush Green's head as the minutes go by. Blood starts oozing from his ears. He starts smashing the bottles with his fists. The shards of glass slowly embedding deep within his hands. The alcohol irritating the wounds as his hands bleed The clock is currently at 10:54. The trap is slowly crushing his head as Green lets out another pained scream. He breaks another bottle and grabs the key. His hands oozing out puddles of blood. He lifts the key up above his head and reaches for the lock with his other hand. He puts the key in. The trap moves forward again and he falls to his knees in agony. 6:42...He unlocks the trap. He slams it to the floor with a thud. He gets up to his feet. Blood dripping down the side of his head. Blood oozing out of his hands. He rips the sleeves off his shirt and wrap his hands in them. He walks forward. He stumbles into another room. He collapses to the floor as the scene fades to black.
Am I dying? I can see my body laying in a heap on the ground. So this is death, huh? I kinda figured I would have died from eating lots of food. Never in my life would I have expected that to happen?
4:49PM.
The scene opens up inside of Ryou Bakari Itemri's house. We see Foley Anderson sitting on the couch watching some tv.
Foley: I wonder where Barney could be? He left 5 hours ago to get some ice cream. Oh well.. Maybe he got lost again.
Ryou comes running into the room and stops and looks at Foley.
Ryou: We have to get down to the Mercy Street Hospital. Barney Green is in there. They found him outside half dead. His hands are a wreck and he suffered slight damage to his head.
Foley: Holy shit.. Let's get to that hospital.
Foley gets up and starts to walk outside while Ryou follows suit as the scene fades to black.
5:23PM
The scene opens up inside a hospital room where we see Green laying on the bed slightly conscious. Foley and Ryou enter the room with a nurse talking to them.
Nurse: Green suffered a lot of damage from a trap he was put in. His hands will need to heal. He has to wear gloves until they heal because the amounts of glass that we pulled out his hand have damaged them badly. His head is fine for the most part. Just some slight head trauma from the device squeezing his head.
Ryou: Will he be able to wrestle at Breaking Point?
Nurse: Like I said, he cannot use his hands so unless it involves just kicks, he won't be able to wrestle.
Ryou: Thank you, nurse.
The nurse exits the room as Green fully awakens.
Barney: I fucking did it. I survived the trap.
Foley: Its good to see you awake. Can you tell us what happened?
Barney: All I remember is waking up in a dark room and seeing a tv in the corner. I saw ten beer bottles in front of me and a trap wrapped around my head. The tape finished and it started to crush my head so I started to break the bottles to find the key.
Ryou: It is good to see you are doing okay. We talked to your doctor and they said that you aren't going to be able to use your hands for about 4-5 months and you have to keep them covered during that period and check in with the hospital twice a week to get an IV injection into your hands from the shards of glass that were embedded.
Foley: I am sorry but your match against Alex Anders isn't going to happen because you are in no condition to wrestle.
Barney: I will sign a waiver to wrestle in this match. This match is for the WWG Pure Pride Championship. I will wrestle regardless of the pain I am in.
Ryou: You can't even do half of the wrestling moves. It will be an interesting match if you are just going to use chops and kicks the whole match.
Barney: If that has to be then so be it. Now, I need to get out of this damn hospital.
Foley: What plan do you have?
Barney: Foley, you open the window and lift up the screen. I will jump out that window once I get dressed. Ryou, distract the nurse and give me about five minutes before you leave. Foley, you leave after you open the window.
Foley: Lets do this.
Barney rips the IV out his arm and starts to get dressed. He puts on his pants and his torn shirt. He grabs his shoes and places them on while Foley opens the window and removes the screen. Foley leaves the room.
Ryou: Your move, Barn. Time for me to go. Hey-
Ryou leaves the room and we see Barney jump out the window and he lands on his feet outside. He slowly runs away from the hospital. Foley is waiting in the car's drivers seat. Barney climbs in the backseat.
Foley: All that is left is for Ryou to come.
Barney:Yep then we can get out of here.
Ryou comes walking out the hospital and runs to the car then he opens the door. He climbs into the front seat then closes the door. Foley drives off.
Ryou: How did you know that would work?
Barney: That isn't the first time I had to escape from the hospital. Foley remembers. I had a heart attack and had to escape the hospital.
Foley: I remember that well. It was a scary moment.
Ryou: You have had one interesting life so far. How do you stay so positive?
Barney: Beer helped but thats gone. I need to remember that if I didn't crack jokes at my life, I would be miserable. All I want to do is go home and eat a nice box of Twinkies. Maybe watch some Judge Judy while I eat the box of Twinkies. Thats the american dream. I came here to wrestle and make an impact in a way I guess.
Foley: We don't need you getting back up to 420 pounds and having to lie about your weight.
Ryou: Yeah.. Fans even started to doubt that claim when you stood next to Jumbo Jim Jetson and Jetson was billed at 435 and you looked about the same.
Barney: Shut up. Just get me home, hoser.
The scene fades to black.
It's Shoot Time with Barney Green. Now if I am not the fattest rising star in WWG History, I don't know who is. I got a title shot in my second match in this company. Lets take a look at my opponent. Alex Anders. He has the edge on everything against me but I will give my all. He can knock me down but as long as I hear the fans chant my name, I will get back up.
He is smarter than I am but who isn't. I once got locked in a closet because the door shut and i couldn't open it so its no big deal. I will not be tricked in the ring like I have been in the past. I left the ring because my opponent said it was okay to do so and to ignore the ten count. Next thing I know, he gets his hand raised.
I respect you as a competitor. I wish you luck in your other matches but get ready for the wrecking ball and crane when you step into the ring against me. I will stand tall and give my all for fans staring at the wall. The wall that is my frame. You will deal with the Pit Sniff. When you are down on the ground, prepare for the Fat Ass Splash.
I might use the only submission move I know and thats the Green Dream. It could be all over for you and unlucky at the same time. If I do nail that Fat Ass Splash, you might be on your way to the hospital. Time to go, Alex. I am waiting behind door number two and be ready. I am ready to go that far in this match. I am ready for you to hit me with your best shot. Just beware that I will rock you like a hurricane.