The Rocky Road to Sobriety

~ Barney Green- Money Matters!!! ~

NOW PLAYING:
Dropkick Murphys- Rocky Road to Dublin



Hello ladies and gentlemen. Its Episode Number Three: Barney The Unlikely. So where to begin on more of my life. I don't really know much. I pulled out the win and proved I could go the distance in such a short amount of time. The new WWG Pure Pride Championship. I see that Foley Anderson is going to be coming out of retirement. Its good to see that but at the same time, I can't believe it. The problem is I have to think strategy, man.

You know what I mean? I have to figure out to overcome Synn Deville. She is perhaps my biggest threat right now in WWG and I have to figure out a way to overcome my weakness. I have balls. She does not. What is stopping her from kicking me in the balls. Nothing.

Lets take a slight look back into my past. Whether or not I win, I can take losing because this is going to be a crazy match. Lets see, the last time I went to the doctors, he told me I need to lay off the alocohol and lose some weight. I weigh 320 pounds and drink a case of Rolling Rock a day. Its not my fault I drink. Its not my fault I got rich off of a stupid production company that wasn't supposed to succeed. My dad told me he wanted me to get a job so I opened a phony production studio and got rich off a stupid cheesy movie called "The Bus Ride". The entire movie took place on a bus ride home. Was a stupid idea man. But you see, the idiots at Hollywood didn't think so and it made me rich for some reason. The more money I got, The more I drank and smoked cigars.

I am just a drunken broke loser who lives in a cheap apartment in New Bedford, Massachusetts. I am not a savior. Nor do I claim to be one. Will I ever maintain sobriety? Probably not. Will I live until I am 40? Probably not. I will be lucky if I hit 30 and I am happy with that. I love to drink. Especially when you get drunk and you think you are Superman. Fun times.

I overcame the odds and became sober even though it was a bitch to do so. That match never happened because I wound up nearly dead due to attempting suicide. I was so lonely. The alcohol didn't cure my loneliness. It just made it worse. I just would wake up and drink another beer. Try to swallow the tears that would flow because I had a father who didn't want me and still doesn't. I hope he burns in hell. He called me a fat drunken retarded loser and got angry when my production studio closed down. He took every cent I earned. I even tried to do pornography but people don't want to stare at a fat mans penis and thats all I am going to say about that one.

The scene opens up in Ryou Bakari Itemri's house and we see Barney Green and Foley Anderson talking inside of a room.

Barney: I heard you are coming back to wrestling. I can't believe it.

Foley: You better believe it. I am coming back. Its a new era of wrestling.

Barney: I am shocked at it. I wish you luck. Lets go out for a few drinks.

Foley: You aren't supposed to be drinking but oh well, you earned it.

The scene fades to blac.

Shoot time with Barney Green.

I don't care about winning. I will gladly take a loss to you and it will be worth it. Just to have your sexy body rub up against mine. You may feel my little buddy touch up against your body. Take your best shot at me.

Good luck, Synn Deville. I will give my all.