Fearless...

~ Barney Green- Money Matters!!! ~

NOW PLAYING:
Shane MacGowan and The Popes- The Irish Rover



Hello and welcome to episode 5: Super Green Fighter IV. I am not sure what happened to episode 4 but whatever. Let me tell you something about myself. I love to drink. I started drinking when I was 4 years old. I would drink the occasional beer. By 10, I was drinking whiskey and people wonder why my teeth are fucked up. I don't really care. I stll drink to this day and will continue to do so. I thought rehab would change me but it did nothing.

All it did was make me see my weakness. The weakness that actually powered me. My ability to drink. I am Irish dammmit. I loved the ladies back then to but it all failed. The more I drink. The more I hide my pain and loneliness. I admit I am not the straightest wrestler out there. Some guys catch my eyes. What more can I say?

I try to be a romantic person but they don't want a drunk all over them. I live my life while I drink another bottle of whiskey. I was born to drink and wrestle. I followed what the fans wanted in the ring. I admit I made a mistake in attacking Scott Carr. I still don't think he has changed because he still is a monster. A ticking timb bomb. When he does snap, I will be the one that has to stop him. Am I prepared? Not really. We are pretty evenly matched. Only difference is he has more wins than I do and tends to win a lot more. I am no Superman. I am just Barney Green, a drunk from Boston. I represent Boston for life. That is my true home.

The passion that drives me runs deep into my veins. By this point, I have too much blood in my alcohol stream. Life's a party, man. Mixing Whiskey and Rolling Rock together is awesome. I am the guy you see with a bottle in one hand from the minute I get up until the minute I sleep. I tried rehab but it failed on me.

Its the big wave of pain. I am happy being drunk. Look at Shane MacGowan of The Pogues. He is living his life. He loves to drink and is still going strong at 52 I think. I figure I will at least make it to 52 years old.

I drifted way too far deep in and I don't think I will make it out again so I might as well enjoy it. How can I get out the downward spiral? I don't know. I have no way to kick the addiction. No point in direction. I flew too high and crashed. I burned badly. I still hear voices in my head telling me to drink.

I love it. The whiskey going down my throat. I came to play and reach for the sky in this match. Maybe I should climb on the top rope and attempt a splash or something. I feel like I am falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. Down that tunnel of misery again. Time to grab a bottle of Rolling Rock.

My parents never loved me. I am the black sheep in my family due to my drinking problem. They don't want me around no more because I got drunk a few times and accidentally pissed on a sofa or two. Whatever. This beer's warm. Get me a cold one next time before I kick your ass as well.

I can straight up brawl and show you how it is done. Anyway, I still blame my parents for this. I got addicted and they kicked me out. Drinking is easy once you get the hang of it. Stopping is the hard part and why would people want to do that? It's practically harmless. Even though, it takes me about a minute to finish a sentence.

I bleed Black and Gold. In fact, I have gotten into many fights at Boston Bruins games. Those damn Canadiens fans deserved it. You don't egg on a drunk like me. I mopped the floor with one guy so badly I almost went to jail. I sent him flying through a windshield. I have gotten into fights outside of bar rooms. I am the worst guy at your bar. I pawned the WWG Pure Pride Championship belt to get a beer or two. I forget. I really should get the belt out of the pawn shop.

I must have dropped another shot or something. I love you man. I wish I could have your kids. Lets sing a song. Barney was big, burly and strong. His beer was miniscule and so was his schlong. From city to city, always looking for beer over four hundred pounds. eh. Screw it. Its cold outside. The ice that wraps around your body.

The blizzard that hit the area. I made a trek out in that down to the local liquor store to buy some beer. I bought a case of Rolling Rock and started drinking on the way back home. I am just an everyday normal guy. The working class drunk. The more money I made. The more I drank and boy can I drink. Ryou may not talk to me anymore but I can deal with that. He is too square for me. Foley may have ditched me but I got Jeff Night and Platinum. Even though Platinum only says, "Betta Than Gold, Baby." I can deal with it.

Lets get this started.


The scene opens up in Kitty O'Shea's bar and we see Green, wearing a grey toque, a white shirt and black khakis, drinking a shot of Jack Daniels. We see Jeff Night, a man with long hair wearing a white jacket with a blue shirt, and white pants, sitting next to him. We also see Platinum, who is dressed in all gold, sitting next to them talking. Green goes to speak.

Barney: I would like to say a few things. You guys are the greatest friends I could ever have.

Green goes to stand up and stumbles a little bit.
>Barney: Thanks for being there, guys. You are awesome. I will drink another shot for you guys.

Barney drinks a shot and goes crashing through a table. The bar manager comes over.

Bar Manager: Guys, you need to get him out of here. We can't have him damaging our property.

Jeff: We will get him out of here.

Platinum and Jeff Night help Green up and lead him outside. They leave him on a bench as Jeff Night rounds up the Night Mobile.

Barney: Lets have some fun. This beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your disco stick. Woo! I am the greatest man ever. I am so sexy. I got the moves that really move them.

Platinum: Betta than gold, baby.

Green goes to stand up and goes to speak.

Barney: The darkness that consumes the beast within me will be unleashed because I am a nice guy. I am a good guy. I come out to wrestle. I do my job. win or lose. All I do is wrestle. I lift people and drop them. I am Barney Green and that is all I ever will be. The WWG Pure Pride Champion, baby. I make the girls melt at the sight of me.

Jeff: Get this man into the Night Mobile.

Platinum helps Barney into the Night Mobile. Green passes out in the back and we see Platinum climb up front with Jeff.

Jeff: Fun times, indeed. Barney Green sure can drink. He is a decent wrestler. I think he will go the distance and shock everyone.

Platinum: Betta than, Gold-

Jeff: I know that already. I think the Green Dream will win even though he is back drinking and partying. We are at Green's Place. Lets help him out the car and lead him upstairs.

Jeff Night parks the Night Mobile and he and Platinum exit. They help Barney out the back and lead him upstairs. They throw him on the bed. The scene fades to white.

Its shoot time with Barney Green, folks. Let me get started by saying a few things about my opponents here.

Desmond Rains, I don't like you. I respect you as a wrestler and that is it. You have been with the company longer than I have and probably know more about wrestling than I do but when we meet in the ring, I wish you luck. You can hate me all night but I did my job and beat Alex Anders to win the WWG Pure Pride Championship. I respect your brother. Thaddeus Rains did a damn good job establishing this title. I wont let you ruin it. You may be quicker in the ring than me but I have a high pain tolerance. You can keep beating me up and I will keep getting back up.

Synn Deville, we meet yet again in the ring. I laid down because I didn't want to lower my standards to your level. You are beneath me. I admit that I value my pride. My pride got in the way of the actual match. I was taught to never hit a woman and I took it too literal. Make fun of my drinking problem. I don't care. I can enjoy a nice bottle of Jack Daniels. A bottle of Rum. I can out drink anyone in this match.

Scott Carr, you and I go way back to VWF. I will tag with you out of that alone. I remember when you were a monster. You tore apart half the roster. You destroyed everyone. You are a beast. I will stop you if you even think of trying to destroy me. I will give my all. I am not the same 24 year old I was back then. I am 26 now. You may be taller and bigger than me but I will find a way to knock you down.

Time goes by and it goes on and on. Good luck, Synn and Desmond. You two will feel my Irish Rage. It will be... Unlucky...For...You...