Oh my god, its episode 6: Barney The Unlikely. I am here yet again. To talk about my life. I don't know why I do it. It just brings up the dark memories I have repressedd many times.
I will talk about Stephanie. She was a pretty gothic girl. I liked her. It was 2007 and I was twenty two. I was on top of the world. BG Studios was running well. "The Bus Ride" was a major hit. Roger Ebert was quoted as saying, "I don't understand how this got past the editing process and into theatres."
Stephanie was the perfect girl for me. She balanced me out. She was the serious one that wore the pants in the relationship. I worked 12-14 hour days at BG Studios trying to make it work. "The Train Ride" failed. "The Car Ride" failed. Every movie I did failed. I even did a pornographic movie called "Green Dreamed". It failed big time. They didn't want to see my funsized toy on camera. I started drinking more as the movies failed. I even ran a failed wrestling promotion in New Extreme Championship Wrestling. I also ran Great White Combat into the ground. I drank more and more to the point where I can hardly remember things.
Stephanie and I planned to be together forever. As you know, it didn't happen. Her father didn't like me and was trying to get her away from me. I lost everything. She split. She didn't like how we lived. I wound up having to sell Green Mansion before I went bankrupt. I broke even in a way. I remember coming home and seeing her stuff all gone but the ring I bought her and her jacket. She left me crying in the room and trying to wash away the feelings of sadness. The tendrils that gripped my mind and brought me down to that level of depression. I reached for a razor blade to end it all. I was tired of dealing with creditors, debt collectors, and hired goons.
The red blood that flowed out my veins. I tried to end it all but for some reason, I didn't die. I woke up in my bed, barely breathing. I managed to survive which meant I was needed in this world. She ruined me. She left me broken. I don't date to this day because of her.
I do have sex occasionally but usually it isn't free. I am a complicated person. Some days, I long to find the right girl. Other days, I try to find the right guy. I don't know what I want. I am so alone in this world.
I met Foley Anderson during my run with BG Studios which produced The Best of Vegas Championship Wrestling. He wrestled numerous times during its long history in Las Vegas. He would cohost the show with Sean Memphis. A great guy to work with. We eventually ran out of matches that could be considered good. It went for 4 seasons and then ended. By the final season, we kept trying to scrape up matches that hadn't been shown and it was hard. People didn't want to see Sean Memphis facing Austin Stewart. Austin Stewart was a terrible wrestler that went through VCW and stayed because he was really cheap. Sometimes cheap isn't good.
Foley taught me a bit in this business. A good mentor. I just can't stand Ryou Bakari Itemri at times because that guy is way too serious for me. He has no fun. I at least have a lot of fun in life.
I am not a great wrestler by any means. I am more of an old school brawler that will trick you in the ring. I may not be the male model you expect to see but I am very strong. I fight with my heart and fists.
The more you try to topple the wrecking ball, the more you have to deal with the wrecking ball and crane. When I face Desmond Rains in that Bar Room Brawl, he will feel my Irish Rage. I am the "Boston Brawler" for a reason. You can call me a "Dancing Fool" as well because I do like to dance but as the saying goes, "I float like a bee, and sting like a butterfly." I think thats how it goes anyway.
I trust Scott Carr for some reason. I am starting to feel some trust in him because I hold no ill feelings towards that match. He got stuck backstage. I may be the size of two people but I can't fight like two people. Synn Deville kicked me in the balls and I was left knocked out by Desmond Rains. I will leave a special message towards Synn Deville. If you beat Scott Carr, you better watch out because the "Boston Brawler" has his eyes set on you again and I won't lay down this time. You will feel my "Boston Rage" tear you apart. I believe Scott Carr will beat you. Desmond, you will feel the pain of being in my Home. You are coming to my house. You are going to love the pain you feel. I am a great bar room fighter. My record is 40 wins and 20 losses.
I am not a bright person by any means. I can fight and thats all I got going for me. I am the common man doing my job with my hands. I go out there and light up the ring with my entrance.
The Dropkick Murphys are perhaps the greatest group of all time. I am a diehard fan of theirs. I have seen them live numerous times. Nothing gives me chills more than when they revitalized Boston baseball by covering Tessie. In 2004, when the Boston Red Sox won it. I drank so much beer that day. I was underage but who cares. 86 years to win the World Championship. I was ecstatic even though I wasn't a big baseball fan but it was still exciting.
When the Boston Bruins take the Stanley Cup home this year, I will be pounding back so many shots of beer, I may die but at least I will die a happy man. Go black and gold!
Anyway, I really have nothing left to say so I am done for now.
The scene opens up inside of Green's apartment and we see Green sitting on a couch with Jeff Night. Green, wearing a black and silver WWG shirt with black khakis, reaches for a bottle of Rolling Rock. Night, wearing a white suit, goes to speak.
Jeff: So whats the plan for today, Green?
Barney: The plan is to prepare for my match against Desmond Rains and somehow hope I can win another bar room brawl. I am getting up there in age at 26. I am slowly approaching my peak but you gotta factor in my alcohol consumption. I am probably fucked before I even step into the bar room.
Jeff: My Nightsense is tingling and I have a feeling you should go get the WWG Pure Pride Championship out of the pawn shop.
Barney: Relax, Night. I got it out a few days ago. The rules of this Bar Room Brawl is simple. You can only win by knockout. The same as everyone of my fights. In fact, lets roll a past match of mine.
Barney: Good old Oscar Sullivan. I love his dedication to the sport. Even though he retired from wrestling to go to boxing and actually made a name for himself in that sport. I tip my hat to him for that one. Where is Platinum anyway?
Jeff: Platinum is busy in the hospital right now because he pissed off some people who proceeded to kick his ass. He wouldn't shut up. Betta Than Gold, Baby. That gets old after awhile.
Barney: It happens. Sometimes you need to shut up and let people talk or they get beaten up by very angry people.
Jeff: Well said, Barn. Did you get the WWG Pure Pride Championship out of the pawn shop?
Barney: I sure did. I managed to get it ou and it only cost me $600. I only got paid $300 before for it. It should have stayed that price. Ah. I get it. They charge interest on the best for the longer they keep it and have to figure out how much to sell it for.
Jeff: I thought you knew how they worked.
Barney: I didn't. I just thought they paid you money for goods you wanted to sell.
Jeff: They are in the business to make money. How would they make any money off your belt? They sold it back because all you did was pawn it probably. Its a pawn shop. They try to purchase your item for the least amount of money to make a profit.
Barney: That's so mean. How is it legal?
Jeff: Its legal because you sign a legal binding document selling or pawning your product.
Barney: I think I understand how it works now. So anyway, I can't believe Synn Deville and Desmond Rains beat the crap out of me like they did. I can understand why Scott Carr didn't show up. He was trapped in a room and by then, it was too late. I let him down.
Jeff: You didn't let anyone down. Its hard to take on two people at once. You gotta be quick and lets be honest, you are a pretty big target. You are strong but strength only carries you so far in the business. You have a high pain tolerance due to alcohol but you can't keep fighting off people when in a situation like that. You did good for trying to keep the match going.
Barney: Thanks, Jeff. I don't know what I would do without you, man. You are one awesome guy. You and Platinum. Who needs Ryou Bakari Itemri and who needs Foley Anderson?
Jeff: I like you too, fella.
Barney: The way I see it with my match against Desmond Rains is simple. I am the Lord of the Bar Room Floor. I will mop the floor with him.
The scene fades to black.
The scene opens up inside a gym and we see Barney Green running on a treadmill and we see Jeff Night standing next to him. Green is wearing a pair of black shorts with a black and green shirt. Jeff is dresed in a pair of grey jogging pants and a grey jacket with a white stripe on the sleeves.
Jeff: Come on, we need to see "Buff Daddy" come back and win at Uprising. You are going to win it or else.
Barney: No mercy for Desmond. No mercy for Synn. Synn Deville kicked me in the balls for the last time.
Barney gets off the treadmill and goes to sit on the bench for a few minutes. He takes a sip of water from his water bottle.
Barney: Desmond will learn the ways of a true bar room brawler. I may not be the best wrestler but in a bar room, the only way to win is by knockout. I will knock him out so bad that when he wakes up, his clothes will be from last decade. I will break his arm when I lock in the Green Dream.
Green gets up and grabs a set of dumbells and goes back to the bench and sits down. He starts lifting the weight.
Jeff: Come on, Barn. Lift those weights. You can do it. I believe in you.
Green drops the weight and starts lifting it with his other arm.
Barney: Unlucky...For...Him...Such...A...Pity...
Green drops the other weight and takes a few sips from his water bottle.
Jeff: You can do it, man. Just go out there and win.
Barney: I am in better shape now than I was months ago. I am an old school wrestler stuck in the new age of wrestling. They don't want some tub of lard like me wrestling in the ring. I am going to prove everyone wrong.
The scene fades to black.
Its shoot time with Barney Green.
Desmond Rains.. You and I will face off in a match that will be the end of your career. I wish you luck and you better be prepared. The "Boston Brawler" and The "Pathetic Rains" Brother. I will knock you out.
The Bar Room Brawl will be won only by knockout. I respect you as a wrestler, Rains, but get ready and be prepared. The Asylum Bar in Washington, D.C. I will be wearing my Mark Recchi Boston Bruins Jersey. Its Bruins vs. Captials and I will show you why I am a wrecking ball and you are nothing.
Man, I tell you this much. Good luck because you are going to need it. I will even drink a few beers in the bar before we collide. The saying goes, "What comes around goes around." Thats what is going to happen to you for double teaming me. You are a punk. I am a beer drinking god.
I enter this match at 27 years old. My birthday is February 2nd. The blood that will spill all over the bar room during this match. The pain and agony I am willing to put my body through to hold on to my belt. I will keep fighting until I am barely breathing in this match.
You will feel the Green Dream when I lock it on. Maybe I will nail the Kenny Rogers Driver on the bar. Who knows? I don't. I just prepare for the match. I will set you up and knock you down a peg. I am loyal to my fans. The millions of Greeniacs that will be chanting my name when I jam your head through the jukebox.
Good luck, Desmond. You got a challenge ahead of you in the "Boston Brawler".