Welcome to Episode 7: National Green League 11. Okay, bad pun I admit. I am going to tell you a little bit about myself before the Boston Bruins game comes against those damn Montreal Canadiens. Why am I not at the game you might ask? I am not allowed at the TD Garden until I pay for the damage I caused. I broke a toilet in the mens room. Don't you dare laugh at it. Seriously, its not funny. I am not in Brazil because my contract was only to be at Legacy and any PPV. I ain't doing no Public Relation crap in Brazil. I might get attacked by a monkey or something. Besides, each match I wrestle in I only make $300 a match. So I really need to balance out my budget a little bit better. I will be in Brazil for Legacy but I am not staying.
Some people say I am not right in the head but thats okay. If I was normal, I might shoot myself in the head. I may have lost my Pure Pride Championship to Desmond Rains in the Bar Room Brawl but I got my revenge on Justin Justice. Now Justin, That was not wise. Not wise at all. You tried to injure me so I humiliated you by sitting on your face.
I feel a little bit better even though I am going into my match at a very big handicap but I will pull out the win as long as the Greeniacs are chanting my name. The blood I will let spill to make an impact. I may not be as mean as Scott Carr is but I wll keep getting back up. I am drawing the line in the sand by standing up against all the hate you throw at me. Take your best shot. I stand 5'11 and weigh 321 and 3/4ths of a pound. You will have to kill me to get me to stop fighting.
I admit I did a bad thing by pawning the WWG Pure Pride Championship but I am only human. I needed some quick cash to buy some booze. I got it back after about a week or so. There was no harm in it. It was a mistake and I am only human. At least I admit to my mistakes unlike people like Desmond Rains who hates me because I am better liked than him.
I am the last of the good guys left in WWG. Me, Scott Carr and AJ Flare against the world here. I see my four opponents. Lets run them down real quick..
Alex Anders. You are the biggest joke of them all here. You are known as the man who failed to win in three matches in one night at Breaking Point. I won your Pure Pride Championship. AJ Flare took your Rising Star Championship. Scott Carr crushed your spirit.
Synn Deville. You follow me around like a bad parasite that won't die. This time, I won't be leniant against you. I want your title. The WWG Championship is calling my name. I will take you down a peg and make you tap with the Green Dream. Unlucky for you maybe but I get to feel your boobies.
Gabriel Tizo. You are the monarch that screwed Scott Carr and for that you will pay. You can fire me but you won't kill my heart for this business. I will take you down, Lord Kildare. You seemed like a fair guy but power corrupts people. You are the English scum and I am the Irish army ready to take you down as well.
An Accomplice. How original. I don't know you but you will be known as one-ball McGillicutty.
Anyway, Lets talk a bit about my life. You see, I was groomed to be a success but I rebelled against my parents. They wanted an electrician and got me instead. A drunk who once had money that was unlimited but became limited after my failed films. I used to drink nonstop from 6am-6pm or whenever I felt like stopping. I also met Foley Anderson who was a decent wrestler in his heyday. He acted in a film I did called "The Car Ride". I have no problem with Foley at all but I don't like Ryou Bakari Itemri who is pretty much his stepson.
Ryou doesn't know how to have fun. How to lighten up. Every time we meet, it ends in an argument. He called me a "braindead hick" once. He called me "Shane, Jr." as in Shane MacGowan, Junior. Its whatever with him. Foley always side with Ryou even if Ryou is wrong. In every fight I have gotten into with that douchebag, Foley sided with him. Yeah, I am an alcoholic but I still can feel pain. Especially when a person I respected decides not to side with me.
I met Jeff Night and Platinum again in a movie I did. Jeff Night is a decent manager on the independent scene. Platinum is a one line trainwreck. I have no problem with the guy but he adds nothing to any conversation. I talk with him and its always the same words. Sometimes he says something else but its rare. Jeff is a good guy. A decent trainer as well.
People can talk about my mistakes all they want as I am only human. I am man enough to face my mistakes in life. You can knock my weight all you want but I am happy with myself. You can knock my inactive sex life but I don't need sex to be happy. People will do what they dare to me. People will say what they dare to me. I just laugh it off because thats all I can do. I can get angry and start a brawl but whats the point if it hurts me in the end. I am proud to be Irish. I may only be a quarter but I am proud of it. I am also French and German. Mostly French though.
I have fought in bar rooms all over Boston. Gotten so drunk, I have woken up in hospital beds. I have lived to excess at times I admit. Lifes a party though and if you go through life as a stiff, I feel bad for you. I feel really bad.
I have held many titles in my career. 1x VWF Hardcore Champion. 1x GCW UnEmploycore Champion. 1x XWF X-Treme Champion. 1x XWF Cruiserweight Champion. My fat ass could fly. I was a slim trim 280 pounds during that run. I also held the WWG Pure Pride Championship. I will be back later.
The scene opens up inside of Greens apartment and we see him, Jeff Night and Platinum sitting down. Green is wearing a pair of black khakis with a green and black striped shirt. Jeff Night is wearing a pair of blue jeans with a white shirt and a blue jacket. Platinum is dressed in all platinum. Barney reaches into the cooler and grabs a bottle of Rolling Rock. He takes a swig and than goes to speak.
Barney: You ready for the Bruins game, tonight?
Jeff: You better believe it, Barn.
Platinum: Betta than gold, baby.
Barney: I am so stoked to see my beloved Bruins take those damn Habs to school. As long as we got Mark Recchi going strong, we should be good.
Barney: Go Black and Gold! What a game this is becoming. I am so excited to be a Bruins fan. Go Thomas! What a game.
Green drops the empty bottle and grabs another. He opens it and downs it in one go.
Barney: What a game, man. This looks like what is going to happen when I fight Alex Anders, Synn Deville, Gabriel Tizo, and The Accomplice.
Platinum: Betta than gold, baby.
Jeff: What a game for Beantown. Boston wins in its yard.
Barney: The battle lines have been drawn against my opponents. I will let the blood flow. I will win even if I have to cheat. Hit a guy with a wrench. When a guys down, kick him right in his back. Lets go out gentlemen and party.
Barney Green gets up chanting "Party." over and over again as he exits the room. Jeff looks at Platinum.
Jeff: You ready to make sure that Barn doesn't get himself killed?
Platinum: Might as well do it.
Jeff and Platinum exit the room and head outside where Green is behind the wheel of a car.
Jeff: I thinks it is a better idea to let me drive.
Barney: Okay. Sounds good.
Barney exits the car and goes into the backseat. Jeff climbs up front and we see Platinum get in on the passengers side. The scene fades to black as Jeff starts up the car.
The scene opens up inside a bar and we see Barney Green pounding back a few drinks. He then decides to go on stage to do some Karaoke. Green starts singing.
Barney: I'm on my way, I'm making it
I've got to make it show, yeah
So much larger than life
I'm going to watch it growing
Jeff: Tell me he isn't attempting to sing "Big Time" By Peter Gabriel?
Platinum: Okay. He isn't attempting to sing the song.
Jeff: This is going to end bad for old Barn.
Barney continues singing as the booing gets louder on the stage. Green is slowly getting agitated and he finally stops singing.
Barney: Who keeps booing me?
Heckler: I do because you fucking suck. Get off the stage, fatso!
Barney: Listen, you jackass. You want to take this outside?
Heckler: I will be 50 by the time you make it outside, fatty.
Green drops the mic and gets off the stage. He grabs the heckler and drags him outside. Jeff and Platinum go running out to try to do damage control.
Jeff: Are you sure you want to do this, Barn?
Platinum: Yeah, Barney. Its not worth it.
Green and the Heckler start brawling. Green dodges a right hook and nails a left hook. Green nails him with a right cross. Green nails him with a left jab. He nails him with another left jab. The heckler is dazed. Green is winding up his left arm and hits him with a right hook instead. The Heckler falls to the ground and we see Green smiling.
Barney: Thats what I thought, bitch.
Jeff: Time to go, Barney.
Barney, Jeff, and Platinum head off to the Night Mobile. Jeff starts it up and Barney gets in the backseat. Platinum gets up front. The car speeds off as the scene fades to black.
The scene opens up inside of Green's apartment and we see Green, Platinum and Night sitting down.
Barney: I can't believe I did that.
Jeff: You kicked his ass pretty badly.
Platinum: That was crazy, baby.
Barney: Don't insult my singing and I won't kick your ass.
Jeff: You are a good man, Barney. One of the best wrestlers that WWG has.
Barney: Thanks. I try my best when I go out there and wrestle. I may not be a high flyer but I am a decent brawler. I figure I am the Old School Principles in this era of wrestling. I am a bigger guy than most of the wrestlers that step out into the ring.
Jeff: Thats what makes you unique out in the ring. You stand out because you aren't a normal wrestler from this era. Remember everything that Foley Anderson taught you.
Platinum: Betta than gold, baby.
Barney: Yeah. I got a different style then most of the wrestlers but I am also unorthodox. The fans keep me going in this business. Without them, I would just be that drunken idiot from Boston. I ain't ashamed to admit that I cried when Mickey died in Rocky III. I am a common man that is willing to fight until I can't anymore.
Jeff: You are a decent man that is a good fighter. Now we need to talk strategy.
The scene fades to black as they talk strategy.
Shoot time with Barney Green. Lets get it started shall we?
Alex Anders. The one man fizzle machine. You can knock me on my weight and my losses but I will never be known as the man who lost three titles in one night. Smooth move, romeo. You can call me a fat piece of shit all you want. In fact, I welcome it. I welcome you trying to stop me while I fight against time. I will turn back the hands of time and take you down another peg. I am a simple man but I know I can handle you in the ring.
Synn Deville. We meet yet again in a match. You are nothing spectacular. You may be long winded but thats about it. I try to keep things short and sweet but you won't shut the hell up at times. I hope you attempt to pin me so your breats touch my face. I will be sure to pin you, missionary style in the ring. You might even get some of the "green dream" if you get what I am saying, baby. I know you want to take a ride on my disco stick but then again, all the girlies want some of Barney.
Gabriel Tizo or should I say, Lord Kildare? Its war time and remember what happened when the Irish fought the English? The Irish won in the battle of Carlow. Its the same thing now. Only difference is there is one of me and four of you. Its no big deal that you banned Scott Carr from the arena. The fans respect me enough to have my back. I hope you don't tag in because I will hurt you so badly that when you wake up, your clothes are going to be all out of style. You can threaten to fine me. To fire me. Whatever but remember this, I can easily go to the board because you signed up for this match. You assumed the risk in getting into the ring with the "Boston Brawler".
The Accomplice. I will figure out who you are because guess what, I am pretty intelligent. You may be a minor annoyance but you will be meeting my friend, Mr. Wrench if you get involved.
Anyways guys and girls, The battle lines have been drawn> I may be outnumbered but I have a big heart and will keep getting back up. It's probably going to take all four of you to keep me down in this match. I will keep siding with the fans. Something that these guys don't understand. The fans pay our wages pretty much. If you don't entertain them, you have failed in your mission.
Alex..Synn..Gabriel..Accomplice.. The time has drawn near for me to take you all to school. Win or Lose.. Good luck. You are going to need it because I am going all in, balls out to win. You can humliate me all you want by making fun of my weight. Make fun of the way I talk. Go for it. You may have banned Scott Carr from the arena but he will still show up one way or another. Mark my words. You screwed us both out of our title shots. Justin Justice cost me my belt and I won't get a rematch. Why? It wasn't my fault. You screwed Scott Carr out of the WWG Championship. The only good guy holding a belt is AJ Flare. If I have to be Flares bodyguard to ensure he keeps his belt, then so be it. I got his back too.
I am done talking about this now. Get ready for hell on earth from me.