Tonight at Living Hell, I will make an impact and you will see the genesis that is Barney Green. I have been away for awhile having sex with Bailey Jay, Kimber James.. The list goes on. Getting wasted in bars and having my dick sucked and experiencing orgasms that no normal person will experience. Partying through Boston and getting laid every night. Flashing my wallet of money and getting laid each and every night. Getting involved in threesomes and sometimes foursomes. It's Friday.
Proving why I am the greatest man that has ever lived. Pounding back shot after shot. Drinking Rolling Rock and some Southern Comfort. Getting wasted and coming back for more. Living my life on my own terms. I see this match to get revenge against the xWo and I am ready to do that. I don't care who they throw with me because it will be like shooting fish in a barrel facing them. Show them what a true drunk is capable of.
Now, I see Massacre and Anarchy have come back while I was away living my life. I came out of the bar room and saw that this match was booked. Might as well let me throw down the gloves and show you fou jokesters what I can truly do in the ring. It will be a shameful thing when I lock on the Green Dream and make each one of you tap one by one. Maybe I will be showing up on either show to scout the talent and see if any one of them stands out enough to me.
It doesn't matter what I got to do to win tonight as the beer fuels my energy. You take my beer and you signed your death warrant. The lines have been drawn. I won the X-Treme Title last time I was here and showed I can brawl in the X-Treme Division any day of the week. I feel no pain due to my alcohol addiction. I am a true superhero. Been drinking since I was twelve and still doing it at twenty-seven. A true party in the USA if you will. It will be one hell of a brawl.
Sexy Assasin. If I get stuck fighting you, sugar pie. I will knock you down like I take off a prom dress. Quick and painless. You might even meet my little fella. Well, he can be called little Barney. I will take you down and pin you no problem. Big Smile!
The Warrior. I am going to show you what a true drunken master is capable of. Get ready for the fat man coming at you with my Whiskey fueled body will take you down and send you right out of this match easily. I got no problem nailing you with the Kenny Rogers Driver. Your head will spin like a top, fool.
Rad Russian. Pfft.. I am cooler than you. Thre is nothing rad about you, fella. I will bend you in half. You may be pure muscle but I am pure fat. I just gotta fall on you and you won't be getting back up. I have no fear of getting busted open. I love tasting my own blood. That copper tasting liquid.
Dr. Conner. You are an eye doctor supposedly but I doubt it. You are too tall for the equipment. You probably bang your had just entering the ring, you putz. Get ready for the greatest man that ever lived. Barney Green is back for one night only.
It's been fun, XWF. See you at Living Hell. I got nothing else I wanna say right now so get ready for the Greeen Dream.
