Can you believe it. It's episode number 3: Escape from Green Island. Not really. Who are you again and why are you in my living room? Just fucking with you. I know why are here. You are here to get my opinion on Lord of the Ring.
Let me tell you something about it, It's madness and I can't believe I chose to enter it but what the fuck else do I have to lose? I am jobless and need some money. I came close to winning once in the blue moon. The deep blue moon. The sheer pain and torment I have suffered. My body heals slowly each day. The painful agony I have put my body through.
People don't realize that the pain I suffer is real from this alcohol. Time to crack another bottle to numb the pain. The pain and tragedy that is my life. I stand here alone, ready to fight. The lines have been drawn. The words don't sting me about what people say. I know I have given them enough ammunition to my opponents to trash talk me. But thats okay. I will rise above it.
Armed with my bottle of Rolling Rock and Jack Daniels, I shall prevail. Even if I outlast one person in the match, that will be fine. As long as I get my shots in, I should be good. I am the biggest person in this match. It will be hard for them to eliminate me. I got some logic in my head and the voices that tell me what to do. The alcohol speaks in volumes to me. The more I drink, the more women I get. The tragedy of it all is the fact that half the women are usually crossdressers. Oh well. At this point, I will hump anything that looks like a woman.
Training for this match. This moment in my life that sends me to that danger zone. Knowing that I can't stand tall. I am a proud man. I am not a saint. I admit my faults. I have so many faults in my fucking life. I would steal for a beer. Hell, my last paycheck will be coming in the mail soon and I will probably spend it all on more beer. Hopefully I win this match to get some money flowing in my bank account. Even if I lose, I get some money that might go somewhere.
I am lost in this world right now. I need help but no one helps a loser. Especially a loser like me. Maybe I did some things that shouldn't have been done. Maybe I am a fuckup. Who knows? The pain that goes through my body. I inject another shot of whiskey into my body to keep going. I will stand tall and tough.
Am I scared? Yes I am. I have done many things in my past that I regret. I am called a fat fuck. A fat loser. I admit I am simply just a loser. Never count the good guy out. Maybe its time I stop drinking. I enjoy it. Staying up until three.. four in the morning. Get up at six, ready to go.
The drinking that controls me. It destroys me. It wrecks my mind. I can't even think straight anymore. The training for this match is taking a lot out of me. I can't stand the pain but I am going to work myself into shape. I will not back down against the enemies that have chosen to fight me. I do what I have to do.
Forgive me. I know I am not going to win but I am going to try my hardest not to lose. You will have to earn your victory against me. I have trained hard. Walking down the streets. Punching trash cans. Stuff like that. Practicing moves on a mattress. I do a lot of moves on the mattress.
I am a great wrestler. The last of the good guys. The darkness that engulfs my mind. You don't know whats going to happen. Maybe I will hit somebody with a chair. I know this isn't a hardcore match but whatever. I will take it to that level if needed.
Time to go as the time draws nearer against you. Maybe I will start drinking Old English to help train for this match. You down that shit right away otherwise your gut might rot. If that makes any sense.
I have seen many things that make people scared. My head aches. My body slowly moves. Everyone in this match is better than me. What can I do? I try everything. I let everyone down. I am a big let down to fans. I don't have many left after I punched one in the face for stealing my beer. You touch my booze and I kick your ass.
Maybe I need help. I don't really know. Every time I drink, problems arise. I don't know what I do. I let my friends down. I let Foley Anderson down. No wonder why Ryou Bakari Itemri beat the crap out of me. I don't recall much of what I did to cause it. All I remember is waking up in an alleyway a bloody mess.
I will get my revenge against my opponents in this match. My bloody revenge. I can handle what is coming my way.