NOW PLAYING:
Pursuit of Happiness- Cigarette Dangles
The scene opens up in Green Mansion and we see Barney Green and Foley Anderson sitting down and talking about All Hallows Annihilation. Foley is wearing a blue camouflage tank top with a pair of tan shorts. Barney is wearing a black and white "Greenman Cometh" shirt with a pair of black khakis.
Foley: What happened at the PPV?
Barney: I lost because of Erik Cade. I am never teaming with anyone outside of the people I deem worthy enough to team with the Green One. I keep hearing that Ryou Bakari Itemri is alive and just in hiding. You would tell me if it was true, wouldn't you, Foley?
Foley: Ryou didn't really die. He just knows how to slow his heartbeat down enough to make people think he is dead. I went along with it because he wanted to lay low for awhile. He has secret places inside of his house to hide. You see some of the places. They are hidden throughout the wood.
Barney: That makes sense I guess. Good to know he is alive. I heard it through the grapevine because I saw he signed a contract into MCW. A veteran in his own right in Wrestling. Ryou.. Chase.. Whatever he is going by is a damn good wrestler. He may be short but he can still fight. Ryou owes me some money because I used my money to pay off his debts.
Foley: Where is your dignity, man? He was in debt. What makes you think he has money to pay you back?
Barney: How can he afford that house, then?
Foley: Oscar Sullivan has been paying the mortgage for him to hide.
Barney: What exactly does he have to hide from?
Foley: He is planning a surprise return which is why he signed with MCW. Sorry about not telling you about it.
Barney: Its cool. I can respect that. I wonder what his motive was for doing this elaborate death plan. It came out pretty good for the punisher of sins. Can I see him?
Foley: You will see him when the time is right. Probably at Mayhem. I am pretty sure that is when he will reveal himself. I have been talking to Oscar Sullivan and he said that you can talk to him if needed and he will let you know what Ryou said he can let be known.
Barney: I will talk to him later about that issue. I find it interesting that Ryou is still alive. Anything you know about it?
Foley: There is nothing else I can really tell you about this. I have talked to Ryou on the phone and he has told me a few things he asked me not to tell you and I am going to honor that. It is best for you to contact Oscar because Oscar has more info than I do as he lives in Itemri's house.
Barney: Fair enough I guess. I will call him later on. I believe he is alive because that didn't look like him at his funeral. I wound up paying off all his debts.
Foley: You saved him from getting beaten up by a bunch of angry people.
Barney: Whatever. Pass me the phone. I am going to give Oscar a call.
Foley hands Barney his cellphone. Barney opens his cellphone and dials Oscars number.
Barney: Hello, Oscar. You wanted me to call you. Okay I am listening. Is that why he did it? Okay.. Hmm.. That makes sense I guess. So he is hiding in his house? Any chance of me seeing him before Mayhem. No. Alright. Its cool. Stay sic as well, mothafucker. Thank you.. Bye.
Foley: Any other news from Oscar?
Barney: Yeah. I got some news. Ryou is doing fine. He is just recuperating and laying low. He broke his foot awhile back and that is why he "died". Oscar has been paying the mortgage through a secret joint account that has his and Ryou's name on it. Ryou is working on coming back. He has been training in secret. He has a secret gym. Hang on a second, folks you can't hear this part so enjoy Lady Gaga and stay tuned for more.
The scene fades to Lady Gaga.
The scene comes back to Green Mansion.
Barney: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. I told Foley what I needed to and you can listen to what else we have to say.
Foley: I agree with what you said. If it is true then the plan should work. I like the idea a lot. Seriously, Oscar and Ryou are two geniuses.
Barney: I know man. I agree.
Lets change subjects and talk for a bit on a few ideas I had.
Foley: Sure I am game to listen to them. Shoot.
Barney: My first plan was to buy a new Television Set and maybe rent some pornography from the local adult store. I also need to buy a container of Astroglide while I am out as well. First things first though, I need to return the other pornography first.
Foley: I don't even want to know what you are going to be doing later on tonight but you can count me out. I don't swing that way, fella.
Barney: Aww... Oh well... I have a few chores to take care of as well today. I have to take out the trash because if I don't, it will be here 6 months from now and my Mansion will get condemned.
Foley: What happened to your butler?
Barney: Thanks to the stock market faltering, I have no staff really. Haven't you noticed that we are the only two people living here?
Foley: Yes I have. I thought they went on vacation.
Barney: For six months? You dunderhead. I had to let them go to save some money because money is what makes the world work. I may be clumsy but I was an Accounting Major in High School before I became a wrestler. You trained me to become a wrestler. You and Oscar Sullivan. Oscar's style is more flashy than you. Your style is pretty much technical above everything. I have a mix of style from the both of you. I will never climb the top rope but I am willing to lock in the Green Dream and win.
Foley: Thanks for saying that and I will always have your back. You are one of the people I am proud of that I got to train and break into this business. You and Ryou Bakari Itemri.
Barney: I got your back as well. Without your guidance, I would still be working towards my accounting degree and I am happier as a wrestler. I am the wrestler that will keep going regardless of what happens in my career. I don't care what people want to say about me because to be perfectly honest, Their opinions do not matter to me at all. They are just a bunch of jealous bitches that can't match my skill in the ring.
Foley: I could probably match your skill in the ring but I agree. You shouldn't let people get to you like that because you got a few people that have your back through and through. I have always said it is better to have a select people that back you and are truly your friend then have a group of people that are your friend until you make an unpopular decision.
Barney: Life throws you curve balls like that all the time. You say one wrong thing and you might as well be condemned. I have gotten called a con artist because of a few decisions I have made. I have gone through with what I said I am going to do. Plans change like that in life and that is how life is at times. Nothing you can so or do will affect what actually happens.
Foley: I tried everything to stay in this business and keep going but injuries kept piling up on me. I wrestled the same for 15 people as I would for 15,000 people. I fought in some of the emptiest looking armories and some of the fullest arenas in the world. I may have not been a big star or held the World Title but I gained respect from everyone I fought because I treated them with respect.
Barney: I have followed your teachings well and Oscars as well. Oscar is more of a flashy wrestler with his brawling style. He knows how to work the crowd in his favor and make people cheer and chant his name.
Foley: Oscar was interesting to watch wrestle in the ring. He could move back and forth in the ring and make people believe in his ability. His Sullivan's Rush was deadly. His Triangle Choke was torture. He knew it all in the ring. He didn't do top rope moves much. He was more of a ground brawler. Once you were on the ground, you were in for a beating from hell.
Barney: I think it is time that we go out and buy a new television set and for me to return this pornography as it has gotten boring to me and doesn't make me excited anymore.
Foley: Will you stop talking about your dick for a minute? I agree. We need a new tv but I am not going to watch you yank your wang in front of it to shemale pornography.
Barney: How can you hate shemales? They look like females and have dicks.
Foley: Shut the hell up already. I could give a fuck about what you do in your privacy but please stop talking about it.
Barney: Alright I will stop talking about it in front of you. I wonder if I can get a local show in Las Vegas called Barney Green's Sex Talk. I might be able to since I own a production studio in Vegas.
Foley: Oh hell no. I don't think that show will go through. If that shows up on tv, I riot like a fox.
Barney dials a number on his cellphone and waits for someone to answer.
Barney: Don't worry about it. This will go through. Hi, yes I was wondering if I could speak to James J. Simpson because I have a show idea I would like to pitch to him to add to VegasTV. Sure.. I will hold...
Foley: If this works, I don't know what I will do.
Barney: Hello, Mr. Simpson? This is Barney Green here. I am doing good, yourself? That's great. I wanted to pitch a show idea to you called Barney Green's Sex Talk. It would feature me talking about sex and random stuff like that. You like the idea? That's great. Sure I can film an episode tonight.
Foley: Oh dear god.. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Barney: Thank you and have a great day yourself.. You know why the deal went through, Foley?
Foley: Why?
Barney: Because my name is Barney Green. I am The Boss of Las Vegas. The M.D. of Sexology.
Foley: M.D. of Sexology? Please, you haven't even gotten laid once.
Barney: Don't say that too loud because I am not amused at that statement. i don't even know what I am going to talk about on this show. I have to head to BG Studios and just make it up as I go along. Maybe mention something about MCW or something.
Foley: This I have to see.
Barney: Lets get going. Stay tuned for Barney Green's Sex Talk after this song from Jon Lajoie called Everyday Normal Guy.
The scene fades to a video.
Barney Green's Sex Talk.
The scene opens up at BG Studios and we see a badly designed set that looks like a gynecologists office. We witness Barney Green walk onto the set. He sits down on a stool. He reaches for a coffee mug that is in the shape of a toilet and takes a swig from it.
Barney: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Barney Green's Sex Talk. I am your host Barney Green and I get to talk about sex for about 22 minutes with commercial interruption. Yay! So anyway. Sex is when a man loves either a woman or a man and they make passionate love. Some women love each other to that point as well and have sex using dildos and strapons. Personally, I prefer shemales because they look less gay to have sex with. They look like a female and have a dick. Its amazing.
Foley: OH DEAR GOD!
Barney: Lets see what else can I talk about? Masturbation. There are many ways to masturbate in life. You just grab your dong and yank away at it. Don't yank too hard or you might sexually injure yourself. That is not cool when it happens. It hurts like a son of a bitch. If you are a girl, just stick your finger in their and move it back and forth a few times.
Foley: For all the things that are sacred. Pass me a damn beer.
Barney: So, yeah I am now going to address my opponent at MCW's Mayhem. Roman Steeler. You may be a funny man and dress sharp but you got nothing on me. I got more swagger to my style than you ever will, hoser. You can't match me in the ring. The reason I went on RSTV was to promote your crappy show. I got my own show now as well, bitch. So what if I go get high in the woods with my friends. Big fucking deal. Yeah, I was going to no show my match against Dazz because I had the flu. I still showed up and beat Dazz.
Foley: Go Barney Go.
Barney: I am undefeated in singles competition. You are not. I am Tom Brady. You are Joe Flacco. I am going for the touchdown and am going to score on your fucking ass. I am Mark Recchi while you are just Brian Elliot. Bruins vs. Senators. I am going score a fucking goal on your ass. What do you have to say, nothing.. You know I am better than you. Anyway, this has been Barney Green's Sex Talk. I hope you enjoyed this show and good night all.
