Time to go yet again. Who would have thought that Green would be such a hated force that I would be facing a friend of mine. How the mighty have fallen. Hardcore Smitty. You talk about Mistress Randi having my balls in her purse. I hate to break it to you but Outsider Stone clearly has your balls in his purse or whatever he carries around. You follow him around and that makes me wonder if you two have some sort of Brokeback Mountain relationship. I don't care if you are straight, bi, gay, trisexual, whatever. Doesn't bother me at all but just admit the truth.
I respect you Smitty. You and Stone took me under your wings to help me improve. I credit the both of you with helping me get my career going. You are right about one thing though. You and I are enemies this month. Get ready to be shocked. Your pay might get docked. I am gonna walk out the winner. Then afterwards, have a nice chicken dinner. Confidence radiates off of me. I have travelled this road for many years. Dated many dears. Faced my many fears. Battled with my personal demons. I see the light at the tunnel. Shame you are stuck in a funnel. You are right at being at the crossroads. Me too. You are the only reason I decided to come back to this promotion. The only person I wanted to fight at least once.
Rhyming comes easy for me. I am gonna do what I do best and thats beat the living daylights out of you. This is gonna be a straight up fight. I know you are tough and strong. So am I. You are Teemu Selanne. A great player in his field but age is catching up to him. Same applies for you. I am Patrice Bergeron. A player at the peak of his career. Watch what happens in the ring. I may be bigger than you but I will still keep pounding back. No matter how much blood I lose, I won't stay down. Somebody is gonna have to call your momma.
I know what I am doing when we step into the ring. Thousands are gonna be sailing on this ship. Just to watch me fight you to the limit and leave you bruised in the ring. After the match, I will help you up and shake your hand. I got in contact with the band to play my theme on the cruise ship before I come out. I will make a deal with you to make this an even match. You keep Stone away from ringside and I will keep Mistress Randi backstage. I may have to buy her a new purse or something but it will be worth it.
I am a fine glass of wine. Getting better each year in my career. I've got it all right now. A house and a girlfriend. I may sleep on a couch but its worth it. The reason for the season. Every time I hear a boo, It sounds like a symphony to me. Get ready for the flight of your life and I don't mean that Richard Wagner song. Hit you with the Goodnight Kick and pin you. Bing! Bang! Boom! It's all over. It's gonna be a ride for you.
This will be over for you, fella. I am walking away either way I look at it. Jonathyn Brown doesn't deserve a man of my caliber on his roster. Eric Anderson is so incompetent at his job but he keeps it because he has something on Jonathyn. Thats clearly the reason. The only GM I have any respect for is Shane Carver. He treated me with respect and dignity. Half the time I go to talk to Eric, he is out in the concession stand with a beer in each hand drinking. My segment aired on a tape delay because he was too busy getting drunk to realize the satelite wasn't playing anything until it was too late that the XWF had to reair the show in certain markets. You are a terrible GM and should be ashamed of yourself. I know you aren't becaues you are too busy drinking the devils firewater. Whatever though.
I suffer from kidney stones and that is the main reason why I was out for so long and sometimes just up and leave. I got a kidney stone right now waiting for it to pass. If it doesn't pass, I have to go in for surgery yet again to have another one flushed out my body. I fought Jason Richardson and Scott Carr in WWG mere days after having surgery. Believe me or don't. I really could care less. You better be prepared to deal with disappointing the fans. I am walking out the winner of this match hands down. Later.
The scene opens up inside of Barney Green's house and we see Mistress Randi, dressed in a black dress with black heels, is standing next to Barney Green, who is dressed in a tan shirt, black khakis, black sneakers, and a black and silver collar. Green is kneeling on the ground. Randi goes to speak.
Mistress Randi: Good job, Slave. You won against Andrew Mason on Massacre. That just means you have to win nine more consecutive matches. I still have to punish you though for losing to Double G. Go get me the whip, slave.
Barney: Yes, Mistress.
Green walks on his knees to the bedroom and returns a few minutes later with a whip. Green goes up to Mistress Randi and hands her the whip.
Randi: Get up and assume the position on the edge of the couch, Slave. You are gonna be hit fifteen times for losing.
Barney: Yes, Mistress.
Green gets up and places his hands on the couch as he assumes the position. Green removes his shirt as Mistress Randi gets ready to start whipping him.
Randi: You are gonna count out each one. Failure to do so will result in starting back at zero. Do I make myself clear, Slave?
Barney: Yes, Mistress.
Mistress Randi leans back and goes forward. Crack!
Barney: One!
Randi: Why are you such a failure? Why can't you be a real man? You are such a pitiful excuse for a man. The only reason I stay with you is because you pay me and let me boss you around like a little bitch. Last time I had sex with you, you lasted a minute at best.
Crack! The whip bouncing off Green's back. Green's back started to turn red from the pain.
Barney: Two.
Randi: You turned in your man card a long time ago. Whatever masculinity you had is now gone. You serve my needs and I expect you to win. I don't date fat losers like you. The more money you make when you win. You make less when you lose and I am not gonna have you lose matches. I need the money.
Crack! The whip bounces off Greens back and Green winces in pain. Three. Crack! The whip smacks off his back as it turns a shade of pink. Four. Crack! Another shot and Green looks like he is in pain. Five.
Randi: You knew what you were getting into when you dated me. I own you. I can easily throw you out onto the streets and find somebody else to replace you. You will learn to serve my needs no matter how much pain I have to put you through.
Crack! Green's back is starting to look raw from each crack of the whip. Six. Green's knees trembling from the pain as he tries to hold his body up. Crack! Seven. Welts are starting to appear on his back as he tries to fight back the tears. Eight. Green's legs finally give and he goes down to his knees.
Randi: Get back up, you little wimp. You only have seven more to go. The longer you stay down, the more I am gonna add to the total. Get up, You pathetic piece of shit.
Barney: Yes, Mistress.
Green struggles to get to his feet. Using the couch as support, he pulls himself back up. He reassumes the position. Crack! Another shot and the welts are getting redder on his back. Nine! Crack! Green's back is starting to bleed a little bit. Blood is starting to pour out in a little trickle. Ten! Crack! The pain is clearly being shown on Green's face as he struggles to stand. Eleven! Crack! The back is starting to bleed more from each blow it takes. Green, looking weak and struggling to keep his balance, just keeps that look of determination on his face. Twelve! Crack! Another blow and the blood is starting to drip down his back into a puddle of red water on the floor. Thirteen!
Randi: This is why I hardly reward you. You always screw up. People think you are this big man. You are nothing more than a big bitch. You have a pindick. Is that why you slept with trannies? They had a bigger dick so you wanted to feel what it was like to deal with a real dick. Is that it?
Crack! Green looks weary from the abuse as the blood just starts falling from other spots in his back. Fourteen! Crack. The final one and Green just collapses to the ground from the pain. Fifteen! Green just rests against the couch in a pool of his own blood.
Randi: Good, Slave! You survived your punishment. Rest for a few minutes and then clean that damn mess you made up.
Barney: Yes, Mistress!
The scene fades to black as Green lays down on the ground.
The scene opens up outside of Greens House and we see Barney Green is fully dressed and ready to go to work. Green reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Green opens it and dials Jeff Night's number. Green goes to speak.
Barney: Hi, Jeff. Where are we going today?
Jeff: Hey, Barn. We are heading to Dartmouth today to paint a house on Allen Street. Should be a quick $300 or so. We got another house in Dartmouth today as well. We are gonna do great today. The house on Allen Street wants us to paint the house yellow. Should be fun.
Barney: Sounds good. I am ready to go paint some happy houses. It was a nice showing on Massacre where I beat Andrew Mason. Time to step forward and move on towards the PPV for now. Focus on Hardcore Smitty and go all out to win. Regardless of what happens, I will find a way to walk out the winner. You got the paint or do we need to stop by the store to buy it?
Jeff: Way ahead of you, man. I got everything we need. I usually buy everything before I come and get you so I don't waste gas money with all that weight in my car.
Barney: Hey!
Jeff: I am just joking. You are a good worker. I should be there in about five minutes.
Barney: Sounds good. I sm just glad to get out of the house for a few hours. Let's put it this way. Painting houses will be a fun thing for me to do right now instead of staying in that house.
Jeff: Thats rough, man. Anyway, I am gonna let you go. I see your house.
Barney: Alright, bro.
Green hangs up the phone and places it back in his pocket as he waits for the Night Mobile to appear. The Night Mobile pulls over to the side of the road and Green walks up towards it. He then opens the door and climbs in. He shuts the door and places on his seatbelt. The Night Mobile pulls back onto the road and they are on their way to Dartmouth.
Jeff: I saw your showing on Anarchy. It was good but Double G had a better night. Not that you did anything wrong but he was clicking all night.
Barney: I gave my all out there and still came up short but I can turn it around by trying my best and that is beat Smitty at Battle On The Boat. Final match for me in the XWF. I am excited to be facing my mentor but at the same time, we are enemies in the ring that night. Whether the fans boo me or not, I am walking out the victory. They are jealous because I can hold my own in the ring.
Jeff: True, man. Ever since you stopped drinking, you have gotten into better shape and look like a new man. I have travelled the roads with you in the past. I remember the time you pawned a championship belt to get beer money. That was sad but funny at the same time.
Barney: Alcoholism is a serious disease. I have it beat right now but I know if I get into a bar and have one shot, I will be back at square one.
Jeff: Just keep moving forward. Look into your future and see what it holds for you. You are destined for greatness but you aren't getting any younger. I am thirty-four myself and I know that each day that goes by means I am just getting older. You roll with the punches in life, man.
Barney: Amen to that, bro. I know I have failed many times in the past but I won't let it stop me this time. I won't back down from the biggest match of my career against a legend like Hardcore Smitty. Win or lose, I can say I fought with courage and gave him the match of his lifetime. Are we almost there?
Jeff: Yeah, man. We should be there in about 5 or so minutes give or take. I hate traffic at this time of the year. Especially when you got idiots that talk on their cellphones and won't move forward when the goddamn light is green.
Barney: Try walking in Boston. Cars won't stop when they see you trying to cross. You gotta run fast or you got some asshole in a Prius honking his horn at you. I am doing more for the environment by walking. He can fuck off and leave me alone.
Jeff: And we are here, man. Time to get started and make some money.
Barney: I am ready to go.
Jeff Night drives the Night Mobile into the driveway of the paint fading house. It is a single floor home with windows and a door. Night parks the van and Green gets out. Green heads towards the house while Night turns off the van. Green walks up to the door and knocks out. The customer answers. Barney goes to speak.
Barney: Morning, Ma'am. I am Barney Green with Barney's House Painting Service and we are here to paint your house.
Customer: Okay. I expect this house to look perfect when you finish. You damage anything and I expect you to replace it. It will come out of your pay. You spill any paint anywhere but on the sides of this house, you will remove it and it will come out of your pay. You will get paid at the end of the job. Do I make myself clear?
Barney: Yes, Ma'am. I am gonna go get started. Just tell your kids not to bang on the windows or try to distract me.
Customer: Okay. Do a good job.
The customer shuts the door and Green walks back towards Jeff Night who has everything setup. The ladder is leaned against the house can and the paint can is open with the brush placed on the ladder. Jeff has his own can set up on the opposite side of Green. Green heads towards the ladder. Green goes to speak.
Barney: So, we meet again, my happy little house. This happy little paint is gonna make you smile. You are gonna enjoy this, my happy house. Lets get started, Jeff.
Green grabs the paint can and starts to climb up the ladder. He places the paint can on the hook that was inserted into the ladder to make sure the paint can doesn't fall. Green grabs the brush and dips it into the yellow paint. Green pulls it out and starts painting the house.
Barney: Brushing alive. Brushing alive. You can tell by the way I use my brush, I am a brushing man. Brushing the paint onto the house. Making the house nice and happy. Gotta keep the paint seperated from the window sill or I have to restart. Its a shameful thing, lost your trim.
Green finishes the part he started on and climbs down the ladder holding the paint can and leaving the brush inside the paint can. He places the paint can on the ground and moves the ladder a few inches to the left. He then grabs the paint can and climbs the ladder again as Jeff has moved a few feet towards him.
Jeff: We should be done in about three or four hours give or take and then move onto the next house.
Barney: Exactly. Just keep focused and get this house done. Making money all day and every day of the week. Gotta love it.
Green starts to paint again on the house with his brush and so does Jeff Night.
Barney: I am the greatest man that has ever lived. I may paint houses in my spare time but I can handle my own in the ring. Racking up the money. Serving my Mistress. What a great life.
The scene fades to black as Barney Green and Jeff Night continue to paint the house.