Follow Me Up To Carlow With Caps and Bottles 2/3

~ Barney Green- Money Matters!!! ~

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What a night of drinking that was. Too many pints of Guinness and Strawberry Daiquiris. I miss going and getting shitfaced like that. I woke up alone though so thats the one saving grace in all that. I can say I didn't get laid yet. Ah well. The beer they keep letting me drunk. Gotta love Guinness. Great beer and I love the taste of it. I am at the peak right now in my career. The pain that may be going through my body from a night of drinking doesn't affect me too badly. Maybe I am still drunk right now. Who knows? I feel fine right now. Getting up out of bed and looking in the mirror. My tired old face looking back at me as I am slowly growing a beard and look like a forty year old man. Time to go and shower. I feel fine except my head feels like it got run over by a semi truck.

I won some money I think as I don't remember being thrown out the casino after partying all night with two of my best friends, Davis Starfire and Jeff Night. Maybe I will make the return home to Las Vegas. I love it in Boston right now because I get to visit the Bobby Orr statue every so often and ask it for guidance. Doesn't respond to me but I get some ideas of what to do in my life.

Now time to start trash talking people before Kyle Shane gets upset and has another fit about it. Seriously, bro. You are gonna throw a fit because I don't trash people like you do. You call me unoriginal but you want me to act like you. You are an idiot. Plain and simple. Nothing you can say is gonna hurt me. I love how you spent so much time talking about my pretty little face. That must mean you are attracted to me. Hmm. Did you enjoy the fact I talked about fucking you after the match. You clearly enjoyed that thought so you ignored it. Of wait, that was in my promo from Massacre. My bad. The offer is still on the table though. We can have some fun thought after the match when I shoot my load on your face. Am I being serious or not? Take it for what you will.

You say I have the same record as Dark Shadow in this match. He has more losses than I do but he is just a jobber. Look at who I have beaten this month so far. The Green Ranger. Andrew Mason. Jordan Penn. I lost to Double G though. I am 3-1 for this month alone. The problem with you Kyle is you don't deserve the World Title. The only reason you got it was because Dante let you take the victory during that six-man tag match. You talk about people mentally writing me off as I cut promos while I compile wins all month long. If you wanna get technical, I am 4-2 right now because I lost a match in WWG and won one in WWG. I am improving and I can run up a flight of stairs without getting tired too. Whats you point? I exercise each day I go out and paint houses. I am not gonna be some skinny fuck like you because you see, I love to eat good food and refuse to eat that crap they call health food. I tip the scales at 310 right now and will be going all out to wreck you body. You talk about me being the same person I was years ago. Thats why fans respect me because I won't sell out to make myself known. All it shows is my consistency. What you see is what you get with me. You talk about improving. So have I. I have travelled the roads for many years making my presence known.

I was never given the opportunity to prove myself so I had to wait until Hardcore Smitty was put in charge of a PPV to get my shot. That guy is my Canadian Brother and we may be fighting at the PPV but I still respect the man. I will also back him one hundred and ten percent. You talk about my adventures. You jealous that I have so much fun in my life? You talk about my oddball references and those promos I do for the YouTube community as well to try to get myself over with the audience. Something you don't understand because you are too stupid to realize it. You should take note of the fact I have no problem fighting a friend to get my chance at the Universal Title. Nothing personal on that one but I got no problem putting Smitty through the deck and then wrestle another match that night. Speaking of that, Kyle. How come you begged the boss to pull you from your US TItle Match? That just proves how much better I am than you. I am willing to fight in 3 different matches in six days while you can't even handle two because you are not that great. You are below me and you talk about me getting the Green Ribbon for showing up. You deserve it more because you aren't walking out with any belt. I will go all out to ensure that at the end of the day. All its gonna prove is you can't last against a man in his second match the same night. I got the endurance for it though. I don't even get to go backstage and rest. I have to stay in the ring and wait for my next set of opponents.

Damon James. Great. Another preacher using terrible phrases that might have worked in the 90's but its now 2012. You completely ignored me which is okay because it is your right to do that but remember, I am in this match and will send you straight out the ring. Hang on. Let me take a quick sip of my Guinness Draught. That stuff is good. I will easily take you down no matter how drunk I get. I got no fear facing off against you even if I am drunk or not.

I am simply the best at what I do. Jose Chavez. Let me tell you something right now. I was in the hospital being operated on and having a kidney stone removed in November during Lord Of The Ring. You must be thinking of Ryou Bakari Itemri or something. God I hate that man. You talk about my career. Look at yours. You have wrestled half the matches that everyone else has in this match. I have worked my way into this match while you get a week off because you don't want to get injured. Suck it up, princess. I have worked in pain and intoxicated. You just gotta realize your limits. You shouldn't be challenging for a belt if you need to keep taking time off. Does that make sense? You are right about me not accomplishing much in my time with the XWF but look at the injuries I have racked up. I also suffer from a medical condition. I have never backed down though from a fight and I don't plan on doing so.

You wanna know why I don't plan on staying after the PPV? The XWF refuses to meet my contract demands. I want $50,000 a month and my own private bathroom. They won't give me the bathroom so I ain't signing a new contract until I get that. Maybe I should show up at WWG and drop the belt on Gabriel Tizo's desk. Don't like that, do you? Give me my own bathroom and I will stay.

I don't even need to talk about my other opponents as they haven't even shown yet. Haven't posted a promo so I really don't care about them. Back to drinking Guinness I guess and wait for them to show up only be humiliated when I send them over the ropes. They mean nothing to me. I can go the distance against whoever you throw at me or whatever fool attempts to step into the ring against me. This is my moment to make a statement and I will do just that.

As I am slowly getting drunk right now due to the beer I am drinking. On my third one right now and I don't plan on stopping. Getting it all out of my system for Boston. I am gonna win this match to prove I can do it. I will wear Teemu Selannes number any day of the week. One of the greatest hockey players of all time. I view him as a future hall of famer. Same goes for Mark Recchi. Hockey all day and every day. Black and Gold for life. Hell, I will even pound back some more Guinness as a tribute to my friends.



I have been thrown in jail. I can cook the worlds best macaroni and cheese. I am a man of the bar room. I have a house next to the TD Garden that puts your house to shame. I am a real ladyboy's delight. I am a real love machine. Girls jockey for my cock. I am never alone at last call. I am the best house painter that makes $425.00 per house. I can bench press a cement truck. I got a degree from Bristol Community College in Television Production.

Another swig of my beer and my eyes start to glisten. My smiling Irish eyes are back right now. Man. I miss being this way. Getting up in the LV after drinking my beer out of a dirty glass. Partying all night and waking up with a different lady or shemale next to me. I caused BG Studios to go bankrupt because of my love for the liquor. They call it Satan's Brew for a reason as it pours down my throat. The dark liquor fueling my body as I get ready for another night in the ring. My body is running off beer and adrenaline alone right now. When I step out into the ring, I will give it all I have and win. I am a different type of wrestler because I will speak my mind and call out bullshit when I see it.

The headlines will read after this match, "The Kid From Boston Rises To The Bell and Wins". Yeah, I am a Boston Bruins fan. I hate those fake fans that show up the minute the team wins a Stanley Cup. I once saw somebody wearing an Andrew Ference jersey. I knew that was a fake fan because not even Andrew Ference wants to be Andrew Ference. The best moment from him was during the playoffs against Montreal and he flipped off the fans. You can knock me because I haven't changed much. I am still the same guy I was years ago busting my ass off and fighting every night. Maybe I do drink a bit much but I love the taste. I missed it. I am letting my addiction win for the time being.

I tried to be sober but my plan fell apart. Too many fond memories of me slamming back shots of whiskeys and pints of beer. You are right that I am a freak. I live my alternative lifestyle by letting women dominate me and boss me around. I get aroused by it. What can I say? Some people don't like me because I am an honest man. It's almost time for me to go for this match. I am going to show you a true wrestling god in the ring. I am not a flashy wrestler by any means but I can brawl with the best of them. I got the hardest left hook you will ever feel. That shocks people because I am right handed. It's time to go. Later.




The scene opens up inside of a local bar and we see Barney Green, dressed in a black and green BG Studios shirt with blue jeans and black sneakers, drinking a pint of Guinness. Next to him is Jeff Night, dressed in a blue shirt with black khakis and white sneakers, and Davis Starfire, dressed in a purple tanktop with black shorts and black sneakers. Green goes to speak.

Barney: This is the good stuff. You gotta have a little Guinness in your life to make you happy. I love this stuff. People say Guinness is terrible but I got no problem with the taste. It tastes great and I can drink 10 or so cans and keep going strong. I am ready for this match.

Davis: This is amazing. I never thought I would see a legend like yourself getting drunk in the bar. You gotta be careful though. Remember your kidney stones.

Barney: Eh. The beer is good enough to deal with the pain they give me. I can overcome anything and not get knocked down. My body is still standing years later after all the abuse I have put it through. Its not gonna fail me. This beer is the devil but its so damn good. I figure if I am gonna die, I might as well die drunk.

Jeff: What about Mistress Randi?

Barney: I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Which will be when I go home after Battle On The Boat. I am kind of scared in all honesty. She is gonna be pissed at the fact I went and got drunk. I can't believe I am almost done with this pint of Guinness. Good stuff though. At least I haven't gotten laid yet. She might be okay with that. I know I am gonna get my ass kicked by her though as she keeps blowing up my cell phone. I took all my credit cards with me but my Visa. I sacrificed that so I could sneak out while she was out shopping.

Jeff reaches for his glass of Mountain Dew and takes a sip from it. Davis goes to speak while Green finishes his Glass of Guinness Draught.

Davis: That sounds crazy. I can't believe how you managed to sneak out like that with nobody around. You just packed and left as quick as possible. I don't blame you. Hopefully it works out okay for you.

Jeff: Yeah, man. If you need a place to stay, Just let me know. You can stay at my house if she kicks you out. I wish you luck when we go back home. I can't believe how much money you have won so far.

Barney: Thanks, bro. I appreciate that. It's been a crazy few days so far. I have managed to make about $2,000 so far just gambling alone. I already put about a $1,000 into my bank and put it on one of my credit cards to pay off some of the debt. I am gonna try my luck at gambling later on in the day. It's best to stop for a bit and then come back later on. Clear your head so you don't lose all your money in one go. The idea is to win as much as possible without losing too much. Say I start with $2 and wind up winning $10. That means I make a total profit of $8. Straight up economics right there. I have always been good with numbers because you have to be in order to manage your own company which I have experience with.

Jeff: Yeah, man. I remember the days you ran BG Studios straight into the ground. Honestly, you should have realized that people got tired of seeing movies involving rides. Just because "The Bus Ride" was a success doesn't mean the next set of "Rides" were gonna be. You should have never filmed "Green Dreamed!". That was a bad idea from the start, man. If you were gonna do porn, you should have hired another guy instead of using yourself. Will you ever admit to how many copies actually sold?

Barney: It was about 20 or copies that sold out of a thousand that I had manufactured. That led to my companies downfall right there. At that point, I was going through case after case of Rolling Rock and other beers to try to numb the pain. I also wrestled in my spare time as well. I trained under Foley Anderson for a year and a half during my time running BG Studios. I wanted to do a crossover from my boring job to make some quick cash. Only thing was I learned that when you start wrestling, you barely make enough for gas money. Luckily for me, most of the bookings I took were in Las Vegas for a promotion called Barely Legal Wrestling Association.

Davis: Interesting. Good to know about your career. I will keep that in mind on what not to do in my wrestling career. I guess thats why Beard wanted me to learn from you.

Barney: Yeah, bro. You don't want to make the mistakes I did. Learn from them. We don't need another Barney Green in the business. I may drink but I can still get the job done at the same time. The pain I have caused to my body isn't worth it for you, bro. You got the potential to go somewhere down the road. I had to pay for my sins and I am doing that right now. I know people are gonna write me off in both matches but I need to prove them wrong by going out and trying my hardest to win. If I win both matches than the fans will realize what I have been saying has been the truth. Man, I need another drink. I will be right back.

Green gets up and leaves the table leaving just Jeff and Davis. Jeff goes to speak.

Jeff: I have known Barn for years and he is a good guy. His only vice is his love for the alcohol. I learned awhile back to not even try to keep up with him. By the time I get a beer down, he is on his third. I don't know how much longer he is gonna be able to compete at the level he is at in all honesty. I just hope this is the only time he does this otherwise its gonna be back to square one again. he is what you call a binge drinker. He will stop for months and then out of the blue visit a bar and get wasted. The cycle will repeat itself over and over again. He isn't a bad guy.

Davis: I know he is a good guy. I have seen his past matches and I used to think he was a great actor until I realized that is how he acts outside of the ring. He is an entertaining guy though because he is so honest. Its hard to hate him because he means well and will tell the truth.

Barney: Dun Dun! The Beer Is Here! Dun Dun! The Beer Is Here!

Green comes walk back to the table with another pint of Guinness Draught. He places on the table and sits down. He takes a swig of it and his face is turning red as a rose as he is getting drunk. He goes to speak.

Barney: Where do you guys wanna go next? I am starting to get a bit hungry. I will pay for the food. I gotta get some fuel in me to soak up the alcohol otherwise its just gonna get me even drunker. Not that it bothers me either way but I gotta eat.

Jeff: Good question. Lets just finish our drinks and then go out onto The Strip and look at the fast food places. They have plenty of places to look at.

Davis: I am game for wherever you wanna go guys. I am starting to get a bit hungry myself.

Barney: Okay, guys. Just give me about a minute to finish this beer.

Green grabs the glass and chugs it down in one go as the dark liquor goes down his throat with his face staring straight ahead. He places the glass down and gets up out of his seat along with Jeff and Davis. They all head towards the exit. Green is staggering a bit due to all the alcohol he has consumed. Davis exits first followed by Jeff. Green then exits and they head towards Davis' car and Davis goes to unlock it. He does so and they all climb in. Davis starts the car while Jeff and Barney put on their seatbelts. Davis turns on the radio and gets ready to start driving. The car pulls out onto the road.

Barney: Where do you want to go because I could probably eat a fried tire at this point.

Jeff: How about Arby's?

Davis: That sounds like a good idea, Jeff.

Barney: Sounds good, bro. Let's go eat and then we can go back to gambling and maybe pick up a woman or two with my smiling face. I mean, just look at me.



Davis: Hell yeah. Let's go back to gambling after a a quick meal and maybe score a few chicks.

Jeff: I think I see the place in the distance. Just another five minutes and we can eat.

Barney: That sounds good. Maybe we can talk strategy as well for my match. Give me some advice to work with and get it taken care of.

Jeff: Sounds good, man. I am glad I came on this trip.

Barney: I am glad you came here as well to party with me and Davis. This is gonna be one hell of a night for all of us involved. This is gonna be a true party in the LV. Looking at peoples daughters and having sex. Nothing beats getting drunk and having sex. Doesn't matter who it is with as long as you enjoy it. It's time to go eat my lunch.

The scene fades to black as Davis, Jeff and Barney continue to talk.

I am back for the time being as I slowly try to sober up a bit. Get my head back into the game as I struggle to stay alert due to the dark alcohol flowing through my veins. Where is the person I once knew? Buried deep within me as I get drunk. You can insult me for living my life as I get wasted and pound back shot after shot. Doesn't matter to me as I got the last laugh. No matter how much pain I get put through, I will get back up. I am virtually indestructible. The only thing that can stop me is a dominant woman because I love being dominated by women.

I'm happy that the match is nearly here because I am getting a bit weary from all this talking I have been doing. I will supply the beer and pain in one dose. I will go the distance. I may not be the fastest or flashiest wrestler but I can hurt you with my fists. I know I can do this no problem. The old Green is coming back for one night only to make an impact. I am going to win this for Mistress Randi. I will not let her down. It's a quarter past two and almost time for another round of drinking.

I am ready to go with whoever you wanna throw against me. The Third Man. Heavy D. The Dark Shadow. Jose Chavez. Jack Tyler. Kore. K-Money. I don't care because I am simply the better wrestler in any situation. I look forward to facing Eric Anderson so I can get my revenge on him in the ring. He better be prepared for the Goodnight Kick. I am gonna put him out of commission with my fists. I am gonna break every bone in his body. It's good that he is taking a leave of absence because he knows I would easily destroy him.

The battle lines are being drawn and I am proving the world wrong because I will win both matches. Don't hate me because I am simply better than you. Hate me because you wish you could be me. You wish you could be this good looking and get all these chicks fighting over your cock. Considering I have a small cock compared to just about anybody shows something right there. It measures in at about 3 and a half inches when rock hard. With that note, I am done talking for now because I am going to go pound back another beer. Later.