Tales From Green Mansion Pt. 1


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I'm a living example of how the brain really doesn't need blood to work.
-Al Bundy

We do not die because we have to die; we die because one day, and not so long ago, our consciousness was forced to deem it necessary.
-Antonin Artaud

The killing was the best part. It was the dying I couldn't take.
-Craig Volk

Scene: Green Mansion
People: Foley Anderson, Barney Green, and Jerry Jensen
Time: 11:05PM
Date: August 11, 2008


:::I am sitting in the living room with Foley Anderson and Jerry Jensen watching Tales from the Crypt. As the show closes, i look over at Foley and Jerry.:::

Barney: You wanna try to make up our own tales?

Foley: Sure i guess.

Jerry: That is a sweet idea.



Barney: I call this Feeling Dead. It was a dark and gloomy night.........


Scene: Ghost Fighter's House
People: Ghost Fighter
Date: ???
Time: 12:05AM


Ghost Fighter is walking around his house. He starts to look around and then he hears a ring on his phone.

Ghost: Hello?

???: Heed my warning.. You are going down of no return.

Ghost: Who in the fuck are you? You call my house with your stupid ass warnings.. Stop fucking calling here.

???: One day, you are gonna get caught and you will be dead. Mark my words, change your ways or your ways are gonna lead you down the road of death.

Ghost: Listen, i am the biggest cocaine dealer there is out there and i will not be caught. Why do you think i am called Ghost Fighter? Each cop that tries to bust me gets killed off and they think a ghost does it. Please..

???: This is your last warning.. I sense doom coming towards you.. You are gonna back down the wrong road and wham.. You will be feeling dead..

The line went dead and you see Ghost wondering to himself what happened.. He wound up hearing a knock at his door.

Ghost: That must be Crimson at the door. Him and I were supposed to talk a deal out.

Ghost heads downstairs and opens the door.

Crimson: Open up.. Come on.. Open up..

Ghost: Hang on.. Come on in.

Crimson enters the house and they both step out into the livingroom.

Crimson: Ghost, you better watch out for tonight. My sources tell me something big is about to go down between 27th and 31st street. Stay inside or else you are gonna be sidewalk pizza.

Ghost: Relax.. I have been doing this for 4 years now. I will be fine.

Crimson: Dont say i didn't warn you. Im gonna hide out here for a while.

Ghost: Fine. Stay here. I will be back later.

Ghost heads on outside and gets into his Mercedes and heads on down to 27th and 31st st., his normal route. He parks his car and gets out of it and starts to deal.

Ghost: Got solid grade A coke here.. Come and get it from the Ghost.

???: This doesn't look like solid grade A cocaine. You trying to rip me off. Us people don't take to kindly to trying to rip us off.

Ghost: Trust me.. It is good coke.

???: Stop peddling your lies on me and my gang. You need to be taught a lesson in this life so you dont fuck up in your next one.

The mystery man and his friends drag Ghost into an alleyway and proceed to tear him to pieces. Blood and guts everywhere. The guy has an axe and all you can hear is crunch as the head gets chopped off and we see his severed head on the ground in shock at what happened. As they finish cutting his arms off, the rest keep kicking him in the ribs while he is no longer in this life.

Scene: Green Mansion
People: Foley Anderson, Barney Green, and Jerry Jensen
Time: 11:15PM
Date: August 11, 2008


Barney: The cops found his body the next morning and they just laughed because the Ghost Fighter thought he had it all and the people took his life away because he wasn't worth having it. His con ways got him what he deserved. Thats exactly what is gonna happen to Scott Charlotte and Grappling Gary when me and my buddy, Xander Azula face them.

Foley: What a chiller that was. So you think you can beat them both?

Barney: I am very positive at that. I think even Honkey Lighthouse could beat them both. Ha Ha! They are really bad with their stupid Young Guns.

Jerry: I got a tale for you called Splitting Ache.. Devin Hewert was a drill seargent in the US Army and he would boss people around....



Scene: US Army Training Camp
People: Sgt. Devin Hewert and the recruits
Time: 7:06PM
Date: July 1st, 2007


Devin Jewert was a strict person on the field. You piss him off and you will feel it after all the extra stuff he makes you do.

Devin: Okay, you worthless bags of crap, i want you all to drop and give me 50 pushups right the fuck now. We aren't leaving until all of you bitches do it so DO IT NOW!!.

The recruits groan and they all get down on the ground. They start to do the pushups and all you hear is Devin yelling at them like an angry drunk yells at a bartender who cut him off. One of the recruits vomits on the ground.

Devin: Oh! What do we have here.. A pussy who cant take this? You signed up to become a man. You weakling. If you cant take then why did you sign up, bitch? Huh? You are a disgrace to the United States Army.

Recruit: Im sorry, sir. I cant help it. This work is tough.

Devin: Get the fuck up off the ground you pathetic skirt. We are gonna have a word in my office now.

Devin picks up the recruit and drags him into his office.

Devin: Why the fuck did you sign up for the United States Army you idiot. If you cant keep up here, why the fuck bother.

Recruit: You dont understand do you? You are very crass and abrasive. You treat us like we dont matter. One day, you will get yours buddy.

Devin: Shut the fuck up you fucking bitch. You better be ready for the beating of your lifetime because its war out there.

Recruit: I am reporting you to Rear Admiral Johnson because i dont think any recruit should have to take your shit.

Devin pulls out a gun and shoots the guy.

Devin: You wont be going anywhere.

Recruit: You may kill me but this will tarnish your record. You idiot.

Devin picks up the recruits body and reveals a secret hatch in his office and opens it. He throws the body in there and shuts the hatch.

Devin: Yeah, right.. I own this Camp. You cant bust me. Im untouchable.. You fairy.

Devin heads out of his office and goes back to the field.

Recruit 2: Where did that other guy go?

Devin: None of your damn business. Get back to work, jackass.

The recruits looked nervously at one another and went back to work. Finishing up the 50 push ups, the recruits get up off the ground and go to head to their barracks with a plan. Devin headed back to his office and sat in his chair. He looks at the hatch and he sees a bloody handprint appears and he goes to look at it and he sees that recruit he killed. He falls to the ground and his eyes close. Leaving this life for another..

Scene: Green Mansion
People: Foley Anderson, Barney Green, and Jerry Jensen
Time: 11:25PM
Date: August 11, 2008


Jerry: And they say that his office is still haunted even after they cleared out all the recruits he killed. He would say they went AWOL. He died from a heart attack.

Foley: So, Barney.. You think you got this match in the bag against Grappling Gary and Scott Charlotte?

Barney: Great story, Jerry. Yes, i think i can beat the Young Guns. Xander Azula is a very dependable person. The Young Guns? That must be a gay stable. I wonder why he is called Grappling Gary... Does that mean he grapples with his victims in a sexual way and make them shwing. Ha Ha! I have no problem beating them both up. I could probably take them on alone. Thats the truth. I have no fear of them. Xander and I can take them out ourselves.

Jerry: Thanks, Barney. I have seen some of their work in the ring. They are just a bunch of glorified jobbers that figured by teaming together they can get the advantage. They attack in groves just about. One will distract you and three will beat you up.

Foley: Yeah, i see that. Gary made fun of your weight and said you should invest in Slim fast.

Barney: Yeah, like i fear him. You know why i pay the people off? Those people have no shame what so ever. I respect the ones that actually fight instead of letting me pin them. What does it prove? Yeah, you got a quick grand but you lose credibility in the long run. All it says is you are a greedy person. You are willing to sacrifice your job security by taking a quick grand. How much lower can one get? Its like if they showed a movie in which Batman let the Joker get away with his crimes. That wouldn't sell well because it would kill Batman off.

Jerry: Exactly.. People like that have no class. If they get let go, not many people want to have job guy main event their shows because it will draw low attendance records. Half the independent promotions cant even afford to pay talent. Why blow money on Billy Twoface with his record of 5 wins and 50 losses? Its not worth it.

Foley: I have watched the Young Guns out there and they are the biggest joke i have ever seen. Grappling Gary.. What kind of name is that? Ryou Bakari Itemri was more original. Grappling Gary just sounds like a porn star now if i say so myself. Scott Charlotte? Guess his parents were confused whether or not he was a girl or a boy.. They both were satisfied. Barney, you have nothing to worry about. Its pretty much like fighting 2 handicapped people in wheelchairs.

Barney: That was a bad pun. I am gonna take out the Young Guns myself. Xander is a decent guy and all. The Young Guns cant hang with me. They dont even rank with me. It goes Barney Green, Lunatic, Chasm, Justin Kade, and then the Young Guns. They are in the category of Justin Kade and Kyle Michaels. The two biggest jobbers on this show. I can tell you that. Even Honkey Lighthouse could have taken out the Young Guns. I am not worried about them at all. Sure, they talk trash but they cant back it up against me. I may be fat but i can sure as hell crush you when i sit on you. Im gonna prove to you all that you are nothing compared me. I dont care if i gotta take you all down one at a time. Im gonna take out the Young Guns. Im gonna prove everybody wrong. The Young Guns are a bunch of no-talent hacks and if i ever hear them badmouth me again, im gonna send them home crying like a bunch of snot-nosed babies. What are you gonna do when i humiliate you in the middle of the ring and show you who the real boss is. I run this show. Not you. You can talk about it. Talk is cheap. Im gonna do something about and send you away. Im gonna humiliate you so bad that when you wake up, you are gonna wish you were still in that coma.

Foley: I have been in this business since the 70's and i know its tough. The Young Guns are just getting cocky by thinking they can take over. They will eventually self-destruct from within. Members wanting other members belts and so on. Its gonna be good. They all want the same thing we want. Gold. Jewert's got the Hart Championship.. QC Thug decides he wants it. He will go after Jewert and that will ruin the alliance.

Jerry: Exactly. It will slow them down in that sense because they aren't gonna function on the same page. Greed is gonna ruin them like most stables. They form an alliance against one person. It crumbles when that one person leaves. There really is nothing to prove if that happens. The people usually feud with one another. It looks fake but not all groups last. They slowly fall to pieces and start feuding with one another.