Going Down, Baby 1/3


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Scene: Green Mansion
People: Barney Green, Jerry Jensen and Foley Anderson
Time: 6:59PM
Date: August 29th, 2008


:::We are inside Green Mansion sitting down in the living room talking strategy.:::

Foley: You ready to take on these 11 jobbers?

Barney: Of course i am. I am confident. The only person that scares me is Roxy Nova. But i will do everything in my power to get the briefcase with the Golden Ticket.. Let me tell you something, baby, they can throw all these folks at me but i aint gonna back down from nobody because they are nothing to me. They mean nothing. The Hart Title means something to me because i could be the next Hart Champ, baby. Chasm, he aint nothing but a hound dog. He is what you call a glorified Massacre jobber. He was pretty much the Black Orders bitch. Justin Kade? Who may i ask you think you are when it comes to facing me of all people. You will be going down because you are not cool. I am the epitome of cool. Shadow Warrior, let me tell you a few things. You think you can come out and brag about winning. Well, thats not gonna get you anywhere because i am not backing down and listening to some no talent hack tell me that i suck. I am the King of Rock and Roll, baby. What are you? Some random scrub they put in this match because they feel sorry for him. We got Sam Hain in here. He isn't really that good. I could probably beat him blindfolded. He isn't gonna like my blue suede shoes going up his ass.

Jerry: I have seen Sam Hain wrestle. He isn't that good. Anybody who names themselves after a band cant be that great in the ring.

Foley: I have seen worse but thats borderline terrible. Its almost as bad as Z-Dawg, the wannabe gangsta with a heart of gold.

Barney: Its always the same,baby. You got these idiots thinking they can take you out but they cant. Kevin Jewert is one of them. He wants to walk all over me but he is not gonna get away with it because i am walking out of this match on top. Armageddon X is another no-namer in this match. I am gonna hit him so hard that when he gets back up, he will wonder what happened because i am better than him. Scott Young couldn't even hold up to me. He is not even in my league, baby. While i am at it, neither is Chasm. Chasm may be Phoenix Champion but thats because Lunatic felt sorry for him. Lunatic, the resident nutjob in this match will be suffering the same fate as Armegeddon X. He will be feeling my blue suede shoe up his ass. Hawaiian HardHead is a fatass that will probably tire out after 10 minutes.. By the way, Foley, have you seen Priscilla?

Foley: Umm.... Yes, she is doing fine.. She told me to tell you that she will be visiting next week.

Barney: That sounds good, baby. Where was i? Oh yeah.. QC Thug, i dont know what he is saying half the time with his broken english. I never finished school yet i dont talk like that. There is a hunka hunka burning love through my bones. Every lady will swoon at me when i gyrate my hips.. Roxy Nova will enjoy it because i am a ladies man. I am every ladies dream and every mans nightmare...Chasm is another speed bump in my way. He is nothing. I could take a dump in my bathroom that would be worth something compared to him. In fact, Honkey Lighthouse was worth more, baby. You see, the place i was born in didn't really like me too much because i dressed differently and was better looking than most. In fact, anybody badmouths my hair in the match, i will be laying the smackadown on the person responsible.

Jerry: Dont you have an interview today?

Barney: Yeah i do.. Thanks, baby.. I think i will get out that.

:::I get up off the couch and head to my room and throw on some black suit pants and a black dress shirt. I put on a neon green blazer. I put on a pair of white shoes and head out my room. I walk down stairs and head out the mansion into my limo. I get in.

Barney: BG Studios, baby..

:::I watch the limo start to move and drive off.. It does a few turns.. It gets stuck at a red light as i sit thinking about whats gonna happen to me in this match. I notice the limo pull into the parking lot and the door opens. I step out the limo.:::

Barney: Thank you very much.

:::I step into the studio.:::

Scene: BG Studios
People: Barney Green, Sean Memphis and Bob Saget
Time: 7:25PM
Date: August 29th, 2008


:::I walk into my office for a few and fill out a few things and i sit there working on some meaningless junk. I check my watch and notice its time to head to the set of VCW. Im gonna make another guest appearance. Only difference this time its planned. Bob Saget is also gonna appear. I dont know how we got Bob Saget of all people.. I can understand Fred Savage but Bob Saget? Saget is way better than Savage. I walk out to the set and see a stagehand give me the signal.:::

Sean: Here comes a legend in VCW history, Barney Green.

:::I step onto the set and start to speak.:::

Barney: Thank you very much for letting me show up here. Let us show this match, baby.. It was a Last Man Standing Match between Flyboy Jimmy Fu vs. Jumping Billy Lee. The match showed that Jimmy Fu was really ready for the main event. He wound up showing everybody why he was known as the Flyboy. Lets roll it.

Sean: While it is going on, I wish you luck. You probably are gonna win this no doubt. I believe in you. My career may have failed but you have potential. Some of the people are nothing compared to you.

Barney: They lack self respect to accept it. Shadow Warrior, what kind of name is that? He is a nobody. He thinks he is big and bad. He is about as bad as crotch rot. Scott Young, you are in a match that was made for people that actually give effort in. Where are you? You are nowhere. You are running away like a dog with its tail between its legs. Armageddon X, you couldn't even live up to Honkey Lighthouse. You are nobody. You will never hold a belt in this federation. You are just the scum at the bottom of my blue suede shoes. Kevin Jewert, you talk about Corporal Punishment. I will show you what i am really capable of.. Lunatic, you are just a joke here. You are hear because people feel sorry for you. They feel sorry that you aren't strapped into a straightjacket. You show up and act without thinking. Justin Kade, how cute that they let in jobbers that dont have a clue at what they are doing. Hawaiian HardHead, you really have a Hard Head if you think you are winning this and going out in one piece. You better pack your bags because i am taking you out because i am sick of looking at you each week. Sick of seeing you take Impact TV Time away from the deserving people. You have been on Impact how long? You aren't even trying. QC Thug, the wannabe G. There is nothing G about you. Not even a lowercase g, baby. Sam Hain, you disgust me because you insult one of the greatest bands of all time by jobbing out like you do. You only win because of flukes. You haven't really won anything yet. You are just here taking up space. You should quit. Chasm, you really deserve to be on this show because you can't stand up to the big boys. The Black Order kicked you out because you suck. You actually made the Black Order look weak. Welcome back to VCW, baby. Wasn't that match great? Anyway, we have a special guest here as well.. None other than Bob Saget.

:::I watch Saget walk onto the stage and he shakes hands with Sean and then myself.:::

Bob: Whats up you fuckers?

Barney: Nothing really.. Just preparing for my match against 11 other people.

Sean: So, What have you been doing since Full House ended?

Bob: What kind of question is that? That has got to be the dumbest question i have ever heard. I have been doing stand up. Hell, John Stamos hosted my roast. Barney, i wish you luck in your match. The rules are simple.. Go for the easy road in a match with 11 other people. I was Commisioner of CHIKARA Pro. That was an interesting experience. Some of your opponents look harmless compared to you. Justin Kade, QC Thug, Hawaiian HardHead, etc. You got this in the bag as long as you go for the briefcase and worry about consequences later. I have always been a fan of VCW. Lets see.. Its gonna be Jimbo Jetson vs. Bo Smith in a Las Vegas Street Fight. I remember this match on television except it looked a lot better than it actually was. Roll it..

Barney: You cant say that on the air you fool. What were you thinking when you said that? We are trying to put over the good old days not ruin it. This show usually garners a 1.2 rating on average. Saying stuff like that is gonna kill the ratings because people are gonna realize that some of the quality was bad but VCW was the first fed that utilized Vegas as a main point. Wrestling was always in Vegas but this fed made it the focal point. It was shown all over Nevada. The only reason it died was because the original Hoover Dam fell and caused a great depression in this state.

Sean: Yeah.. Bob.. You really cant say that. I will let it slide because you are being yourself.

Bob: I apologize and all..What can you do? I admit that was a little harsh but what can you do. Welcome back to VCW.. That match was great.. Bo Smith really showed he had the temerity to pull out a win. You think you can do it at Mutiny, Barney Green?

Barney: It depends on how it works out for me because it can go just about anywhere. Armageddon X is a nobody. He thinks he is big and bad. He is about as bad as crotch rot. Anyway, folks.. I am gonna step on out and hope you enjoy this match from me.. Barney Green vs. The Juggler in a Falls Count Anywhere match.. This was one of the msot grueling matches if i ever saw one. Anyway, lets roll it. It was great being here and all but i gotta jet. Thank you very much.

:::I step off the set and leave BG Studios and head into my limo. As the limo drives me back to Green Mansion, i wonder what will happen if i do get the Golden Ticket... Time flies and the limo stops inside the garage and i get out the limo.:::

Scene: Green Mansion
Time: 8:15PM
Date: August 29, 2008
People: Foley Anderson, Jerry Jensen, and Barney Green


:::I head back into the mansion enter the living room.:::

Jerry: Well..Well..If it isn't The King himself, Barney Green. Your segment was sheer genius.

Foley: That was some classic stuff.. How was meeting Bob Saget?

Barney: He is one of the funniest people you will ever meet. He gave me some good advice to take out those 11 people. They better be ready for the biggest ass kicking of their lives from my blue suede shoes. Chasm may be Phoenix Champion but that is all he is worth. He is a nobody. He is about as important as Dr. Badd. Kevin Jewert will recieve the Green Dream, baby. There isn't any denying that. Shadow Warrior is just a fool. He don't deserve to be here. All i got left is they all better be ready because i am getting either the Hart Title or the Golden Ticket. I feel bad for them but they wanted to be booked in a match where things are more important for me..